https://youtubetranscript.com/?v=9e8WiB91VBY
One of the things that really, really scared me in prison wasn’t the prison experience. But when my dad went to prison back in his day, he was allowed one visit a month and one three-minute phone call. As a result of that, he wasn’t, you know, he just became so separated from the family. You know, my brother had cancer in his leg. We never turned to my father. Everything that went wrong in the house, we didn’t turn to my dad because he wasn’t there. We couldn’t even discuss it with him. So he had no input. And him and my mother grew apart. That’s when the kids started to grow apart from him. I maintained a relationship because I’d go and visit him every month. And so I was afraid of that. I said, I don’t want that to happen with me and my wife. So, fortunately, the laws changed. You were allowed to get on the phone. When I made my deal, you know, to take a plea, part of the negotiation was they’d send me to prison out in California so I’d get visiting. So I’d maintain that relationship with my family. All I cared about in prison was maintaining a relationship with her. I was able to do that. So, you know, I took care of her in that regard. Her mother just believed in me. And her father was kind of a… He was an alcoholic. He had some petty little stuff on the street. So he liked me a lot, you know, in that regard. I think maybe he looked at me and, wow, this is big time for him. I don’t know. But, you know, that’s what held it together. And then, you know, she’s a genuine person of faith. She’s very sincere in her faith, as was her mother. So, and then let’s look at the experience in prison. So you were in solitary, you said, for 29 months. Yes. OK, so how in the world did you get through that? And what did it do to you? And was there any utility in it? Or was it just torture? Well, emotionally and mentally, it’s torturous. You know, when you look back on being in solitary 29 days, I can’t differentiate one day from another. I can’t differentiate one hour from another. If I think back and you… I don’t know. It was one long day. One long day. That was it. And for me at the time, I dove into my Bible. This is when my faith-based transformation took place in solitary. Drove into my Bible. I had my wife send me in several books on all faiths, and I started to study all different faiths. And it sustained me in a big way. I had a Sony Walkman. I was listening to a lot of the pastors that were interpreting Scripture. I was trying to make sense of it, Jordan, because, you know, evidence has always played a major role in my life, because I was either fighting my dad’s case, my cases. It was all about evidence for me. So I like to see proof when I’m buying into something. And for me, there was enough proof, it was almost overwhelming to me, that Scripture was real, the Bible was God’s Word, and that Jesus was my Savior. And I came out of there with that concept, with that belief. And that’s where the transformation really started to take place, because I said, you can’t have one foot in, one foot out. If you’re going to be a different person, you’ve got to be the right person, and you’ve got to maintain that. And even though, you know, I say this, you could take the boy out of Brooklyn, you can’t always take Brooklyn out of a boy. I still have things that I think about in my head and sometimes reactions that I hold back from, thank God. But overwhelmingly, my faith has won out and kind of keeps me on track. That and family, obviously. In today’s world, we sometimes lose sight of the Judeo-Christian beliefs that built our society. This is why it is so important to study Scripture and develop a dedicated prayer life. There’s no better way to do that than with Hallow. Hallow is the number one Christian prayer app in the US and the number one Catholic app in the world. 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So, OK, so you had you had three things going for you then when you made your transition to your new life. You had the love of your wife and her family. You had faith and you had your your proclivity for loyalty. You said, well, when you went into your new life, you went all in. And so and then. You also talked about the experience you had in solitary and the evidence that you gathered, you were reading about different faiths. What was it about? Why did you decide at that point to start studying faith traditions and more particularly the Bible? Was that a consequence of the influence of your wife? Or what do you think was happening there? Well, it was to me, it was divine intervention because the first night I was in the hole when they violated my parole. A couple of things happen. I was walking out of a bank in Brentwood, California, and 15 agents captured me, threw me in the paddy wagon and just took everything I had at that point. And they were upset with me because I wouldn’t cooperate. Basically, I was playing a game with them, making them think I was because I was trying to just, you know, get on the right side of the government, but not really giving them anything that they can work with. And finally, they knew that I was playing a game with them. They violated my parole and said they were going to indict me on another case. And I spent the rest of my life in prison. And they drove me to the lockup in L.A. at that time. They were going to transport me back to Brooklyn in the morning where the case was. And that first night in the hole. OK, so let me get sorry. I’m confused here. So tell me when that was happening. This was this was before you struck the plea bargain with the government. This was after I had done five years. I was out on parole for 13 months, a very difficult 13 months. And then the violation. And that OK, OK. Yeah, that first night in the hole was honestly I was a guy that was pretty much I can accomplish anything that I want to accomplish. I was very determined. I had I had confidence, not arrogance, but confidence in myself. And this was the first night when I said. I think it’s over for me. I’m done. I said they took all my money because they leaned all my bank accounts. They said they were indicting me on another racketeering case. And I know by fast experience, you don’t beat a case with a public defender. It cost me millions to defend myself and and become victorious at these trials. I said my wife, she waited for me five years. Thirteen very bad months on parole. I had a rough time. You know, people were after me. It was a very difficult game that I was playing with them. And I said, how is she going to wait for me now? You know, I’m going to lose the girl I did all of this for. We had two little babies. I said, and they’re not going to put me out on the yard. I said, I got people looking to hurt me still because I walked away. I’m going to spend the rest of my life in this hole. And I really felt for the first time in my life, hopelessness. It’s the strongest emotion that I ever experienced that up to that point. And quite honestly, Jordan, if I could have closed my eyes and not wake up, that’s what I wanted. It was too painful to think about my future. So I was only 40 years old or something. I said, this is it. I’m done. And a prison guard walked by my cell and he looked in and he said, you know, you don’t look good tonight. Are you OK? And I chased him away. I said, get away from me. Leave me alone. I don’t want to see you guys. And he came back about a minute later and he pushed the Bible through the slot in the door. And, you know, it was after a little bit of time that I picked up the Bible. And that’s when I started my journey. And it really started with the Book of Proverbs. The Book of Proverbs really got me because of the wisdom and the intelligence of Solomon. I was wow. You know, I’d never read the Bible. You know, I grew up a Catholic, but in Catholic school, you don’t read the Bible. You read the catechism. The priest reads the Bible from the pulpit on Sunday. He reads the gospel. So it was my first real experience reading the Bible. And I just got hooked. And that’s when the journey started. And I said, look, you know, the way I reasoned, I said, you know, I made two very bad decisions in my life based upon loyalty. I followed my father blindly into this life. I took an oath and look where it got me. I said, I can’t do this a third time. You know, what my wife and my mother-in-law are telling me about eternity and Christ is true. I want to see it. I want to believe it. I want to see the evidence. And so my journey was really in a search for evidence that this was the truth, not justifying it. And that’s why I asked her, I said, I want to read about Hinduism. I want to read about Judaism. I want to read about all religions. Send me books. And she did. And I just came out of there believing. That was a long time ago, obviously, was in 19. I violated the parole in 1991 and spent from 91 to 95 in there. But that’s when my journey started. And I just came out of there very positive that Christianity was the right way to go.