https://youtubetranscript.com/?v=L2RgQQC0pws
So, you know, one of the things I was concerned about when I decided to interview today and concerned about this clinically and also socially was I was afraid that you, that there was a possibility, because I didn’t know much about you, that there was a possibility that there is a possibility that a story like this can be used by the sorts of person that you describe your father-in-law as being as a method of self-aggrandization and status. And I was concerned about that. The facts of your situation put that to rest for me very quickly, mostly because there was a huge gap between when this happened and when you started talking about it publicly. The other thing that you did that also put my mind to rest about that was that you said that you were unwilling to talk about any of this because even though you had severed ties with your mother, you were afraid that if you did, that was going to put her at risk. And that indicated to me that you were able to, well, first of all, you weren’t trying to engage in some sort of casual self-aggrandizement, but you would also be, what would you, cautious in your willingness to share the intimate details of your life because of the potential cost that that might have to others. Yes, I was nervous about this interview at all for that particular reason, because I’m not saying it’s your particular political leanings, but I do know a large base of your fan base are on the right end of the spectrum, conservative end of the spectrum. They might have some questionable opinions about me or my family or potential blowback. There’s a non-zero chance that me doing an interview with you means that I am on Fox News for a week. That’s just a non-zero possibility in that world. So I had to establish that and talk with my family about, well, this is the possibility what could happen, but the positive that could come of it, I mean, you have a positive discussion about this that could potentially help somebody. And if I could help another group of people that might, again, the boundaries don’t matter. To me, those labels don’t matter. It’s all about the human connection. And if me talking about my opinion can help even one person not turn into me, that’s all I want. I don’t care about the fame. Why do you think you want that? I mean, it’s an interesting desire, you know, because you had many reasons to turn against the entire human race, and you were very close to doing that. And you had done almost everything to put yourself in a position where that was the most likely outcome. But you didn’t. And you didn’t because, at least in part, large part, because of the true affiliation that you’d established with at least one friend who was there to remind you that, no, you were actually a human being and that you should act like one, even if you couldn’t see that in yourself. And then there’s also this call now, you know, I mean, you were brutalized pretty hard when you were little. Yet there seems to be a calling within you that insists that what is of most value is for you to use your experiences, terrible as they were, in the most beneficial manner possible. Because I see my children smile. Okay. I see my children smile. And that means that if they’re smiling, they can be happy. And if I have a chance to not be what my family did, and to make a person that’s way better than me, that has this knowledge and knows what I went through and knows the stuff I went through, I can help that, to help the next one not turn into me, then maybe I can make something worth out of all of this pain. Maybe it’s not all for nothing. Maybe all this hurt wasn’t necessary. Well, it’s definitely not for nothing. The story you told about your daughter proves that. Exactly. Your daughter. And that’s what I mean. I see my family smile. I see today’s. Time to smile at others. Today, I see them smile in general. The fact that my kids can smile, they can argue with me, they can yell back at me and tell me I’m wrong, they can bring their friends over. I’m pretty positive I’m going to go home tomorrow night and I’m going to walk into a herd full of teenagers and I might know three or four of them. And I’m okay with that. Because that to me means that I successfully did, I broke the cycle. People have talked forever about we need to break the cycle of violence. We need to break it. How do we do that? How do you actually break it? By doing it. By actually breaking it. Make a choice that I’m not going to do what happened to me. And like you said, you have two options. I can either go into the abuse and be the abuser or I can go and stop the abuse. And I think early on I decided that I was going to be the one that stopped the abuse if I could. Because that, I felt how much it hurt me and now I can see how much it’s hurting everybody else. And your response to that was you decided not to magnify the pain? No, and I’m not special. The only thing about me is special. The only thing special about me is that I’m willing to talk about it. I’m pretty sure whoever listening to this, whoever listening, you have four or five friends that are like me if you’re not like me yourself. I’m not special. There’s millions of me. The problem is those ones either can’t or won’t or shouldn’t talk about it. They’re either in jail, dead, or have so much social affectation and so many social problems that they just aren’t able to talk. And if I can help them have a voice, that’s worth it for me. I never had a purpose. I think my whole life I was really craving to feel valued and to feel like I added value to somebody else. And I never had that until now. And now I do. And the feeling valued part is cool. Adding value to somebody else is way cooler. The holidays are rapidly approaching, but we can find peace and calm in the craziness of the season with Halo, the number one Christian prayer app in the world. Immerse yourself in Christmas and Advent prayers, meditations, and peaceful Christmas music. Halo also offers an extensive library of Bible reading plans accompanied by insightful reflections and audio guided meditations. Whether you’re a seasoned Bible reader or just starting your journey, Halo provides a platform for you to engage with scripture like never before. A great place to start is with Father Mike Schmitz’s Bible in a Year in which he offers brief daily readings and reflections available on the Halo app. The Halo app also helps you connect with a community of like-minded individuals sharing experiences, insights, and encouragement along the path to spiritual growth. This Christmas join Halo’s Christmas Prayer Challenge, Advent with C.S. Lewis. For the 25 days leading up to Christmas, you can focus on the real reason for the season with prayer, meditation, and Christmas music on Halo. Download the app for free at halo.com slash Jordan for three months free. That’s halo.com slash Jordan. Yeah, right. Yeah, okay. So let’s close with this. I have one more question for you. You talked about your stepfather and you basically described him as a violent, narcissistic psychopath. He was out for whatever he could get in the short term from other people and damn the cost, whether it was to him or anyone else. You’re oriented towards helping people in dire straits redeem themselves. Why do you think, what do you think about the possibility of redeeming someone like him? So, I would be, so people have asked me about that, about my thoughts about reconnecting with my mom and forgiveness and that. And I’m all for it. I’m all for forgiveness as long as there is acknowledgement and movement towards good. Yeah, that’s like a precondition. You have to acknowledge and own what you’re doing and move towards the good. Right, but some people seem hell bent on never doing that. And in that case, I’m sorry, I can’t do that because I’ve given too much of my life to toxic to let it suck anymore out of me. What do you think distinguishes, this is a very hard question, it’s a very hard question. What do you think distinguishes someone who’s in that potential pit of narcissistic hell and decides to get out from the person who’s in that pit of narcissistic hell and decides to stay in and pull everyone else in and to make it worse? Earlier on, they can be instilled with self-worth or an island of normal in their ocean of chaos. And do you think that was true with your stepfather? It does, it does. I think that the… What do you think he was missing? I think that he was missing, he was also extremely abused, was very, very abused by his family. They were very racist. That kind of toxicity was there. But also remember, here’s the thing that people forget when they’re looking at these timelines. Look at the generational fact. But when he was growing up, what was the media and what was going on back then? You’re older, remember the honeymooners? Yeah. You know, the tagline, the main punchline for the honeymooners? Remember their joke? Send you to the moon? One of these days, Alice, bang, zoom, right in the kisser. He’s going to punch his wife in the face because she talks too much. And that’s the main laugh line for the first sitcom we ever had. And if that’s what’s going on and everybody’s laughing, where abuse wasn’t just ignored, it was ridiculed. Well, your husband’s hitting you, what did you do to make him hit you? And that’s not ancient history. That was the 80s. So this was not far along the way. And so to realize that that’s what gives me hope for today. The fact that I’m able to do what I am today and that I’m able to get up on stage and cry. I’m a big hairy dude. I can get up on stage and cry and not get massively ridiculed by everybody because there’s people that can emotionally connect with that now. We’re able to talk about these things in a more open way and not have it be ostracized and ridiculed and pushed off to the side because for decades it was, decades and decades it was, where the abuse was pushed off and you had battered women’s shelters, battered women’s shelters came up because there had to be a way for the woman to escape the husband so he could have the house and she needed to leave. Instead of put the husband in jail, they had to get away to make the husband, make the wife escape because the husband’s going to hunt her. That’s the reason why we made these things because abuse was normalized. We normalized these things. And now I think we’re not. I think we’re moving towards not normalizing it. The more we can talk about these things, the more you can shine a light on something. That’s one advantage that you had, at least in principle, over your stepfather, perhaps. All right. Well, look, it was great talking to you. It was great talking to you too. It was great talking to you. Yeah. Well, and congratulations on your work and the consequences of your decision to, well, to take a big risk and to say, to admit where you had been, but also more importantly, I think, to explain really quite clearly how it was that you, what it was that encouraged you to step away from Madge.