Hello everyone. Apologies for the delay. I hope this is all working. I’m taking questions from Patreon people today. So there’s 841 questions ready to go. So hopefully I’m up to this. What should teaching and research in the humanities look like? I’m going to grad school for literature and I don’t want my work to serve ideological possession. Well the thing is, first of all, is that you kind of have to educate yourself when you go to graduate school. You know you have your courses but I don’t think that you learn more than about 10% of what graduate school can teach you by taking the courses. You have to read. And the mistake that most people make is that they only read what’s been published in the last 5 or 6 years in their own narrow field and that’s increasingly a bad idea. The libraries are full of classic books and I would say take your field, go back to the beginning of the field at least, read the people who wrote the classic works, bring yourself up to date and then familiarize yourself with as much history, as much history of art, as much history of literature and literature as you can possibly manage. You want to learn as much as you can about everything. I would also say you have to ally that with a certain degree of specialization. You have to pick one topic and really become expert at it but it will serve as a doorway to, because everything is connected, it will serve as a doorway to what’s behind it. You focus on one thing and read as much as you can on that. That’s your specific discipline. Then outside of that, read as widely as you possibly can manage. The other thing I would really recommend, and this is also true if you’re going to university, it isn’t enough to read. You also have to write. If you’re going to go to graduate school, you should write every day. It’s a good idea for anyone who wants to develop themselves intellectually. Even half an hour a day, that’s 180 hours a year, that’s a lot of thinking because writing is thinking. You should be writing out your understanding of what you wrote or what you read and the questions you have about it and trying to formulate what you regard as clear questions and problems and also clear answers. Both of those. That’s how I would say you should approach graduate school. Have you thought about slowing down? Are people worried about how hard you’re pushing yourself with the countless commitments? Yes, well I would say that those people worried about that include, I don’t know if it’s me, but certainly my family. They’re worried about it. But I’m putting competent people around me increasingly to handle the scheduling of the public events, for example. I have good agents and a good publisher. I’m learning how to manage this, I think. I’m not really interested, I suppose, in slowing down, although it has been a bit much in the last year and a half. I do better in some ways when I’m working flat out. If my health was good, it’s better than it was by a large margin. And maybe it’s still getting better. If my health was good, none of this would be an overwhelming challenge. But I’m trying to do everything I can to put my health in order, and many, many things have been fixed. So yeah, I thought about slowing down, but I’ve decided against it, I guess is really the final answer to that. That’s the other thing, you know, there are times in your life where it’s not time to slow down, it’s time to become more efficient. That’s the thing, you can become so efficient. You know, you end up doing things in five minutes that would otherwise take you a week. That might seem like an exaggeration, and I suppose it is to some degree, but it’s not that much of an exaggeration. So as you take on more responsibilities, and you determine that you’re going to become more efficient, the responsibility pushes the efficiency. So what do they say to there’s time enough to sleep when you’re in the grave? Many who respect your work feel your tweets are often impulsive, or even expedient, very funny, in certain interactions. Would you consider a change in the way you tweet? Well, I’ve been considering that for a very long time. One of the things I did in the last month, which that I think was productive, Twitter is a hard medium to manage because it rewards impulsivity. I have somewhat of a temper, and I suspect that maybe I’m more susceptible to being tempted to respond in a too forceful manner. Maybe I’m more tempted by that than I should be. But Twitter is real useful. I mean, it does keep me updated with regards to the ongoing, let’s say, war that’s raging at the bottom of our culture. And it does enable me to stay in contact with people, at least to some degree. And it’s a great way of communicating small, but at least in principle important ideas, and also to let people know about what I’m doing on YouTube and with the tours and all of that. People seem to respond positively to those sorts of notifications. So what I did do in the last month was to find people. I tweeted out one day, I asked people to send me the Twitter handles of organizations or individuals who were reporting on positive developments in a credible and realistic way. Humanprogress.org seems to be doing that really well. I thought it would be good to tilt my Twitter feed toward, or my Twitter actions towards things that are positive and also true as much as possible. And so I’ve started doing that in the last month. I feel somewhat of an obligation to, if I’m being discussed publicly by journalists or other professors and they misrepresent me, or misrepresent the ideas that they’re purporting to discuss, then I feel like I have a moral obligation to, I suppose one is to defend myself, I suppose, and certainly to object to the misutilization of ideas by my fellow academics. I don’t know if that’s reasonable or not. It’s not easy to figure out in a situation like this how much you shut up, how much you stay patient, how much you push back, how much you fight, how firmly you respond, whether or not to use wit. I mean, the rule I tried to outline in my book, 12 Rules for Life, there’s a chapter called Don’t Let Your Children Do Anything That Makes You Dislike Them, and there’s a philosophy of discipline in there and it really has two dimensions, let’s say, or two, it’s at the juncture of two ideas. One idea is that you don’t want to make any more rules than necessary because you get tangled up in them. So minimum necessary rules, that’s a good guideline for setting up any structure, even in dealing with yourself. And then if you’re going to have rules, you have to enforce them because otherwise they’re not rules. And so how do you enforce them? With minimal necessary force. And some of that has to be played with, you know, and experimented with so you know what minimal force is. Those are really good principles and I try to govern myself by them in my Twitter behaviour. And I hope that that’s successful. You know, sometimes when I’ve gone after people, I went after a couple of journalists in Canada last year who wrote what I regard as scurrilous and incompetent articles. That’s a bad combination. You know, it was kind of a harsh exchange, I would say. But it isn’t clear that it was the wrong thing to do. So it’s hard to know how much you have to skirt the ragged edge of disaster if you want to do things right. So anyways, I am changing the way I tweet because I’m trying to make it, the bulk of it informative and positive. I guess I should say something about that too, you know, there’s a lot of really good things going on in the world. So we have poverty, absolute poverty, between the year 2000 and 2012, which was three years ahead of what the UN had hoped would happen. You know, and cynics say, well, you have absolute poverty, but the cutoff was kind of arbitrary. It was 1.90aday,ifIremembercorrectly,whichobviouslyisquitelow.Soit′snotarealtransformation.It′sarealtransformation.Somenumberhadtobepickedtorepresentabsolutepoverty.Idon′tsuspecttheUNerredonthesideofcapitalistoveroptimism.Perhapstheydid.Buthundredsofthousandsofpeoplearebeingconnectedtothepowergrideveryday.Freshwaterisavailablenottofewerandfewerpeople,buttomoreandmorepeople.That′shappeningextremelyrapidly.ArvaceinIndiaandChinaisathingcompletelyofthepast.Youneverhearaboutthat.Andthat′sprettymuchthecasefortherestoftheworld,exceptnowandthenforpoliticalreasons.Soyouknow,everybody′sgotacellphoneoran,well,andanybodywhodoesn′tisgoingtohaveoneinthenext10years.Andthatputsinpeople′shandsadegreeofcommunicationandaccessthatwouldhavebeenabsolutelyincomprehensibleeven15yearsago.SoitseemstomethatthereasonthatIchanged,itseemedtomethatitwasworthwhiletochangethewaythatIwasusingTwitterbecauseallthesegoodthingsarehappening.AndjustconcentratingonthispolarizationprocessthatseemstohavegrippedusintheWestseemscounterproductivegivenallthosegoodthingsthataregoingoninthebackground.Nowthatdoesn′tmakewhat′sgoingonintheWestwithregardstopoliticalpolarizationtrivial,butitdoessetitinsideamuchmorepositivecontext.Sothat′ssomethingtokeepinmind.Whathaveaclient′sneedforautonomyslashidentityandtherapy?Theywouldpreferthatwhichismeaningfulandthereforeundertheircontrol.Isthisnotunhealthy?Hmm,I′mnotexactlysurewhattomakeofthatquestion.Well,firstofall,let′strywhathaveaclient′sneedforautonomy,identityandtherapy.That′sparamount.Imean,again,inmybookinchapternine,assumethepersonthatyou′relisteningtoknowssomethingyoudon′t.Sothatyoucanlearnsomethingmaybebecauseyouneedtolearnsomethingbecauselike,whatdoyouknow?Intherapy,Idon′tthinkthatifyou′reagoodtherapist,youtrytotakeresponsibilityforthedecisionsthatyourclientsmake.Likeyoudon′ttakethatdecisionmakingontoyourselfbecauseyouhavetoadoptapositionofradicalignorance.No,apersonissittingacrossfromyou.Andthisisthetrue,trueofeveryperson.Apersonissittingacrossfromyouandtheydon′tunderstandthemselves,butyoureallydon′tunderstandthem.Andifyou′reatherapistormaybeevenifyou′reafriendorapartnerforthatmatter,thepersonwantshelp.Andsosomething′swrongasfarasthey′reconcerned.Andtheremightbesomewaytofixit.That′syourinitialstartingplace,Iwouldsay.Bothofyouhavetokindofagreeonthatinapsychotherapeuticsituation.Well,butyoudon′tknowwhat′swrong.Youknow,youknowsomething′swrongbecausethepersonisupsetenoughtocomeandseekcounseling.Sotheywanttosettheirliferight,butyouhavenoideawhat′swrong.Youdon′tknowanythingaboutthewaytheythinkorwhattheyvalueorwhattheirpastisorwhatthey′relikephysiologicallyorwhattheirtemperamentislike.Orhowthingsaregoingintheirrelationshipsorwhattheircareerislike.Youjust,thethingsyoudon′tknowaboutthatperson,man,it′sintersectionality,gonemad,Icantellyouthat.Andsoyou′vegottolistenandletthepersontellyouwhatitisthat′swrong,asifyoudon′tknow,becauseyoudon′tknow.Andsoyouhavetoaskquestionsofclarification.Butyoualwayshavetoremember,notonlydoyounotknowwhat′swrong,maybethepersondoesn′tknowwhat′swrong.It′shighlyprobabletheyknowthatsomething′swrong,buttheydon′tknowexactlywhat.Andtheycertainlydon′tknowwhatcausedit.Andsoyou′vegottolistenradicallyandclarifyandaskquestionsandmakesureyou′renotconfusedsothatyoudounderstand.Andmaybeyoucanhelpthepersonstarttounderstandwhatthey′retalkingaboutorthinkingaboutbecausetalkingandthinkingareverymuchthesamething.Andthen,then,well,maybeyougetsomesenseofwhat′swrongandmaybesomesenseofhowitcameabout.Andthepersonprobablyknowshowlongthat′lltake.Andthenthenextthingyouhavetofigureoutis,well,whatwouldasolutionlooklike?Likeevenhypothetically,whatdoesapersonwant?Anddotheyknowwhattheywant?Andiftheydon′tknowwhattheywant,thenhowcanyouhelpthemfigureoutwhattheywantandhowdoyouhelpthemfigureoutwhattheyneedandhowdoyouhelpthemadmittothatandallofthat?Andsothat′saboatloadoflisteningthereagain.Youknow,andit′sthesameineveryrelationshipthatyouhave.Ifyou′retryingtofosterthatperson′sdevelopment,youwanttofindout,well,what′swrongintheirlives?Buttheyhavetofigurethatoutbecausethey′retheonesthatwillhavetobeartheresponsibilityforthedecisions.Soyoudon′twanttotakethatontoyourself.It′slike,well,Idon′twanttotellyouwhattodobecauseIdon′tknowwhatyoushoulddo.Like,wecanbothagreethatyoushouldmovetowardwhat′sbetterforyouandhopefullyforthepeoplearoundyou,becausewewouldincludethatinthedefinitionofbetter,right?Becauseotherwiseit′snotsustainable.Butwehavetotalkforevertofindoutwhatthatis.Andyouhavetobeyouhavetobeveryincautioustothinkthatyoucanmakedecisionsforsomeone.It′sanarrogantmoveandit′sanill−advisedmove.Youshouldn′tdoitifyou′reproperlyterrifiedofyourerrorsbecause,well,again,I′llrepeatit.You′renottheonethat′sgoingtohavetotakeresponsibilityforthedecisions.Theyare.Soithastobeleftintheirhands.Soautonomyiseverythinginaclinicalpractice.Nowthatdoesn′tmeanthatyoucan′thelpapersonstrategize.Youmightsay,well,asyou′removingtowardsomeformulationoftheproblem,youmightsay,well,here′sfivethingsthatitmightbe,orhere′salistofthingsthatmightbebotheringyou.Oryoucanmakesuggestions,buttheycan′tbebaitedsuggestionseither.Youcan′toverweighttheoneyouhopethey′llchoose.Again,it′sincautious.AlotofthisIwouldsayIlearnedfromthinkingaboutit,butalsofromreadingCarlRogers.I′dreallyrecommendCarlRogers.Hewasasmartguywhenitcametolistening.Hecanreallylearnalotfromhim.Andhewasalsosmartinhowheoutlinedtheclient′sneedforautonomousdevelopment,andthat′sthedevelopmentoftheindividual.Soanyupdateonyourplanstostartprovidingindependentclassesoranonlineuniversity?Well,I′mworkingwithsomeyoungpeoplerightnowwhoarevery,verysmart.Thefirstthingwe′regoingtobuildmodulesbythelooksofthings.Eachmodulehopefullywillstandalonebecausethenwecantesttheminsteadoflaunchinglikeawholeuniversity,whichseemstobeacrazythingtodo.We′regoingtomakeindependentmodulesfordifferentpurposesandthenlaunchthemprobablyasquasiindependentproducts,let′ssay,toseeifthere′sademandforthem.Sotheonewe′reworkingrightnowonrightnow,andI′mnotgoingtosaytoomuchaboutisacompetitivewritingmodulewhereyou′llbeabletolookatparagraphsandparagraphsthatotherpeoplehavewrittenofavarietyofsorts.Now,Idon′tthinkI′lltellyouaboutthat.Ibetterwait.Soanyways,we′regoingtowriteacompetitivewritingmodule.Andbecauseoneofthebigproblems,thebiggestproblemsthathastobesolvedforanyonlineuniversityishowdoyouteachpeopletowrite?Becauseyoudon′twanttheuniversityjusttobelecturesandmultiplechoicetests,eventhoughthatcouldbedonewithsomedegreeofreasonablecompetence.Mostlywhatyouwantwhenyoueducatepeopleistoeducatethemnotsomuchintofactualknowledgebutintellectualskill.Theyhavetobeabletospeak.Sowe′llneedaspeakingmoduleandtheyhavetobeabletothinkandwe′llhavetodevelopexercisesthatarerelevanttocriticalthinking.Writingisabigpartofthat.Andtheyhavetobeabletoread.Andsothosearethebigproblemstosolve.Andthentheotherproblemforanonlineuniversityisaccreditation,obviously.We′vegotsomeideasaboutthat.Andalsowhatyoudowithregardstothesocialelement,becausethat′sahugepartofuniversity,istodevelopanintellectualpeergroup.That′sreallyanimportantpart.It′snotgoingtobeeasytoreplacethatonline.Youknow,therelationshipsthatpeoplemakeincollegeoftenlast,well,theycanlastfordecadesormaybetheycanlastalifetimeforthatmatter.Butit′saplacewhereyoucatalyzeyouradultidentityandthepeersthatyoupickareabigpartofthat.Ofcourse,someofthepeersthatyoupickwhenyougotouniversityshouldbethegreatpeopleofthepast.That′sreallywhatuniversityisfor,istomaketheminsomesenseyourpeers.Now,youknow,that′spushingitbecauseyou′llhavetodoalotofworkbeforetheybecomepeers.Anyways,we′redefinitelyworkingonthis.ThepartoftheproblemisthatI′mit′shard.It′swhat′stheproblem?I′mdoingenoughotherthingsatthemomentsothatfindingthetimetodothiscrediblyinadditionisoneofthemajorchallenges.SoImarriedyoungandhavehadonlyonesexualpartner.NowIdesirevarietybutvaluemymarriageandwillnotcheatanyinsightinovercomingthisconflict.Asamatteroffact,yes,Iwouldsaygetthevarietywithyourpartner.There′slotsofgamesyoucanplaytospiceupyoursexuallife.Buysomelingerie,likebuyahundredpieces.Buysomethingsexyforyourpartnertowear,maybemultiplethings.Buywhateveryouneedthatyoumightwanttoexperimentwith.Youhavetointroducethatspiritofpretendplaythatyouhadwhenyouwerealittlekidintoyoursexuallife.Andthenyouhavemanypartnersinthesameperson.Andyouputsomethoughtintoit,youknow.Imean,sexissomethingthatthatsexisadomaininwhichexpertisecanbedevelopedjustlikeanyotherdomain.Andsomeofthat′splayandfantasyplayandallofthat.Andsomeofit′ssexualtechnique.AndIguessthentheotherthingIwouldsayistakestockofeachotherandseeiftherearethingsthatyoucoulddoinyourlifethatwouldmakeyoumoreattractivetooneanother.Thosearehardquestionsbecausenoonewantstosay,well,I′dbemoreattractedtomywifesexuallyifshejustactedXway.Andthesamewithregardstoawife′scontemplationofherhusband.Butthosearetherealquestions,man.It′slikeifyourpartnerisn′tactinginamannerthatissexuallyattractive,theneitherthere′ssomethingwrongwithyouorthere′ssomethingwrongwiththem.Andofcourse,Iknowpeoplehaveillhealthandallofthat.I′mnottalkingaboutthat.Butthoseharshjudgmentsthatyoursexualattractionmakesarealsoveryusefulwaysoforientingyourselftowardsproperbehaviourintheworld.SoIwouldsayanyinsightonovercomingthisconflict,nowIdesirevariety,butIvaluemymarriageandwillnotcheat.Well,admittothevarietythatyouwantandseetowhatdegreeyoucanfulfilthatwithintheconfinesofthemarriage.It′salsopartofcomingintocontactwiththeshadow,Iwouldsay,ifyouwanttolookatitfromaJungianperspective,youmighthaveallsortsofsexualdesiresthatarethatpartofyoufeelsshouldremaintaboo.Andmaybetheyshould.I′mnotsuggestingabsolutesexuallylibertinebehaviour.Iknowsexualityhastoberegulatedverycarefully.Butyoumightbeabletopushyourselfwithsometimeandeffortandcontemplationandsomeadmissionoffantasyandallofthatintodomainsofsexualsatisfactionthatyouhaven′tachievedbefore.WhydoInotdiscussreligiousfundamentalismmoreoftenandmoreindepth?Manypeopleconsideryouareligiousapologistasaconsequence.Well,it′sokayifpeopleconsidermeareligiousapologist.Iamareligiousapologist.Soanapologistissomeonewhomakesanargumentforsomething.AndI′mconstantlymakingargumentsforareligiousperspectiveonlife,areligiousorientationtowardslife.Anorientationthat′scentredinmeaning,anorientationthat′scentredindesireforallthingstothriveinsofarasthat′spossible.Desireforpeopletospeakthetruthandactoutthetruthandactresponsiblyinallofthat.AndIthinkthatthere′ssomethingtranscendentlynecessaryaboutallofthat.AndIthinkitistheantidotetohell.Sothatmakesmeareligiousapologist.Thefundamentalists?Idon′tknowwhichfundamentalistsyoumean.IfyoumeantheChristianfundamentalists,well,Iunderstandwherethey′recomingfrom.TheChristian...Christianityisanethicalframeworkaboveallelse.Andit′spredicatedinastoryaboutthewaytheworldisconstituted.Andthestoryprovidesthefoundationforthatethic.Andtheethicunitesthecommunityandgivespeopledirection.Thisisabigdeal.Nowifthestoryischallenged,ifthefoundationalstoryischallenged,whichiscertainlywhathappenedasaconsequenceoftheriseofempiricalscience,thenthefoundationfortheethicstartstoshakeandtremble.Andthatthreatenstheethic.Buttheethiciswhatholdspeopletogetherandgivesthemdirection.Soyoucan′tjustlosetheethic.SothefundamentalistChristiansareallshort−circuitedbecausetheyknowthatthere′ssomethingtotheethic.Andtheyunderstandthatthefoundationhasbeenshaken.Buttheydon′tknowwhattodoaboutit.Sotheyinsistthatthefoundationhasnotbeenshaken.AndIunderstandthat.SoIthinkthewayoutofthatistounderstandthatthetruththatgovernethicsandthetruththatgovernthedescriptionoftheworldasamaterialplacearenotthesame.They′renotofthesamekind.Howthey′rerelated,I′mnotexactlysure.Butthere′snosimpleone−to−onerelationships.Youcan′tdescribetheworldandthenimmediatelyextractoutanethic.It′spartlybecausetherearejusttoomanywaysofdescribingtheworld.Sothisisthefundamentalpointofdifference,asfarasIcantell,betweenSamHarrisandIandhopefullywhatwe′lldiscussinthesummer.Sothat′stheChristianfundamentalists.AndIdon′treallyseethatthey′reaparticularlythreateninggroup,asfarasIcantell.Imean,they′recertainlynotintheascendancebyanystretchoftheimagination.They′renotinvolvedinanyparticularlyreprehensiblepoliticalbehavior,unlessyoucountconservatism.Anditisbynomeansobviousthatthey′reevenholdingtheirgroundintheculturewar.SoI′mnotveryworriedaboutthem.Likefundamentalism?That′sawholedifferentstory.ButIdon′tknowenoughaboutittodiscussitintelligently.Idon′tunderstandIslam.I′mconcernedaboutits,whatwouldyoucall,compatibilitywiththedemocraticWest.Itisn′tobvioustomethattherearemediumtohighfunctioningMuslimdemocracies.IsupposeTurkeyistheclosestone,butTurkeyisprettyshakyatthemoment.Ithinkthatthefailuretoseparatechurchandstate,orevenifwedon′tcallitafailure,thefactthatchurchandstatehasn′tbeentechnicallyseparatedinIslam,makesitdifficulttounderstandhowit′spossibleforIslamandmodernWesterndemocratictraditionstocoexist.Idon′tknowhowthatgapcanbebridged.Youcouldsay,well,withgoodwill,andlet′shopethat′sthecase.Thatdoesn′tmeanIdon′tthinkthatMuslimscanliveinamodernWesterndemocracy.Therearemany,manykindsofMuslims,justliketherearemanykindsofJewsandChristians.Thenthere′stheproblemofthecurrentproclivityoftheextremeendoftheMuslimfundamentalistworldtobecomeveryviolentinverymanyways.I′mnotagreatadmireroftheSaudis,tosaytheleast.Idon′tappreciatetheirbrandofWahhabiIslam,andIdon′tappreciatetheirexportingofthatviewwiththeirpetrodollarstotherestoftheworld.SoIguessthat′swhatIhavetosayaboutfundamentalists.Hello,Dr.Peterson.I′vebeentryingtolistentomyconscience,butIcan′ttellthedifferencebetweenfear,willfulblindness,orgenuineconscience.Well,thefirstthingIwouldsayaboutthatisitisquiteclearthatyouare,infact,tryingtolistentoyourconscience,becausethat′sprobablythefirstthingthatyoudiscover.Sothat′sareallygoodquestion.OK.Fear.Well,here′satest,andyoudon′twanttodothisstupidly.Ifyouthinkthatyoushoulddosomething,andyouthinkthatthereasonyoumightnotbedoingitisbecauseyou′reafraid,thenyoushoulddoit.Sothatwayyoucanfindoutifit′sfear.Youknow,Ithinkyourquestionis,well,howdoIknowmyconscienceisn′tjustmasqueradingasfear,saying,well,youshouldn′tdothat,butit′srationalizingtherealissue,whichisyou′reafraidofdoingthat.Now,see,here′sareasonthatyouwanttotellthetruth.IkindoffiguredthisoutwhenIwaslookingdeeplyintothePinocchiostory.Youknow,inPinocchio,asPinocchiostrivestobecomereal,hehasaconsciencetoguidehim,butit′sJiminyCricket,thisinsect.ButJiminyisn′treallyaverygoodconscience.He′sabitdogmatictobeginwith,dogmaticandinexperienced.Andsoit′snotliketheconscienceisanunerringguide.It′slikeapartnerindiscovery.Andasyoumoveforwardinyourlifeandyouconsultyourconscienceandyoulistentoit,thenitgetssmarterandsodoyou.Butthere′sacodathere.AndthisiswhyI′vesuggested,partofthereasonwhyI′vesuggestedsofrequentlyinmylecturesandinmybook,thatpeopletrynottolie.See,therearemanysystems,youhavemanysystemswithin,let′ssay,thatguideyou.Andoneofthoseisyourcapacityforrationalthought.Andthenyouhaveavarietyofemotionalsystemsandmotivationalsystemsandinternaldramasandintuitionsandbodilysensations,likelotsandlotsof,andsenses,lotsofsystemsthatareguidingyou.Andmanyofthemoperate,youmightsay,unconsciously,autonomously,instinctively,implicitly,allofthat.Now,nonetheless,youprogramthem,likeyoufeedthemcontent,let′ssay.Justlikeyoufeedyourbodynourishment,youfeedthemcontent.Andalotofthecontentthatyoufeedthempertainsdirectlytoyourvoluntarythoughtsandspeechandyouractions.Andthenifyoupathologizethosebylying,soifyousaythingsthatyouknownottobetrueoryoudon′tsaythingsthatyouknowtobetruewhenyouneedto,whichismorecommon.Andifyouactinwaysthatyouconsiderreprehensible,thenyoupathologizeallofthoseautonomoussystemsthatguideyou.It′slikeyou′reprogrammingthembadly.You′rebuildinganAIsysteminsideyourself,really,andinsomesense,thatiswhatyou′redoing,thathasverybad,it′sverybadtrainingdata.Andsotheoutputitproduceswillbe,willwon′tguideyouproperly.Andsoyoudon′twanttopathologizeyourguidancesystems.It′sareallybadidea.Sothat′swhyyouhavetonotlie.Andmaybethat′salsowhyyouhavetosaywhatyouhavetosayandyouhavetosayitclearlyaswellandyouhavetolearnhowtodothat.Sothat′soneofthewaysofgettingyourconsciencestraightenedout.Andthenyouhavetohaveadialoguewithyourconscienceandyoumightask,it′slike,okay,well,whatshouldIdo?Orwhatshould,shouldIdothisorshouldInotdothis?Solet′ssayyou′rethinking,shouldInotdothisinthecaseofatemptation?Maybeyouhaveachancetodevelopanewrelationship,youknow,andyou′re,you′reexcitedaboutitandapprehensiveaboutitandafraidofit.Andyoudon′tknowhowtosortoutallthosefeelings.Andthefirstthingisyoureallyhavetowanttosortthemout.That′swhyyouhavetoorientyourselftosomethingthat′sagenuineup,youknow,thestarabovethehorizon.Youhavetoreallywantthingstobestraightandyouhavetohavethoughtthatthrough.Andyouhavetoknowwhatitmeansforthingsnottobestraight.Andreallywhatitmeansisthatyou′reheadedforhellinonewayoranother.Andifyouunderstandthatit′senough,maybeit′senoughtoscareyoustraight.Youreallygottothinkthatthrough.Thenyougottothinkabouthowmuchbetteritwouldbeifyouaimedup.Andthatreallyhastokindofpermeateyourwholebeing.Andsothenyou′reorientedthatway.You′reorientedupandyou′redecidingthatit′sokaytotrytotellthetruth.Andthenyoucanstarttorelyonthisdialoguewithyourconscience.Butbothofyouhavetolearnandyou′regoingtomakemistakesalongtheway.Youknow,that′sokay.Youcansay,well,I′mgoingtotrythiswithoutbeingcertainthatit′sright.Youcanevensay,I′mgoingtosaythiswithoutbeingcertainthatit′scorrect.Likeifyou′rearguingwithyourwifeoryourhusbandoryoursisteroryourfatherandyouhaveanideaaboutwhatmightbegoingon,youcansay,look,here′smyideaaboutwhat′sgoingon.Whoknowswhatthatideamightbecontaminatedwith?LikemaybeI′mputtingitforwardjustbecauseI′mtooproudorarrogantorangryorfearfulorwhatever.That′spossible.Let′sseeifwecanfigurethatout.Butyoucanofferittentativelyandbothhaveatit.That′swhatyoudoifit′sahypothesis,right?Youbothhaveatitandseeifit′sanideathat′sworthyofkeeping.Youdothatwithyourconscience.Andthenyoumoveforward.There′satechniqueinbehavioralpsychologycalledpsychotherapycalledcollaborativeempiricism.Solet′ssaythatwe,youandIhavebeensittingdownandwedecidethatyou′regoingtotrysomethingnewthisweek.Likemaybeyou′reagoraphobicandyou′rehavingahardtimeinaparkinglot.Andsogettingoutofthecarandgoingtothegrocerystore.Somaybewesay,well,youdrivetothegrocerystoreandyou′rejustgoingtowalkhalfwaytothe,halfwayfromyourcartothedoor.That′sgoodenoughforlikedothateveryseconddayforaweekandthencomebackandlet′stalkaboutit.That′scollaborativeempiricism.You′rerunningalittleexperiment.Youthinkwhenyourconscienceisguidingyoutowardssomething,youtakeatentativestepinthatdirectionandthenyoucheckandsee,well,youknow,didwhatIwantedtohavehappenoccurasanoutcome?That′sthecrucialquestion.That′sthecrucialquestionforbehavioraltruth,right?That′sthepragmaticperspective.DidwhatIwanttohavehappenhappenasaconsequenceofmyframeworkofinterpretationandmyaction?Iftheanswerisyes,thenIhavenotinvalidatedit,right?That′sthepragmaticphilosophyinanutshellandit′svery,verysmart.Soyouhaveadialoguewithyourconsciencethatneverendsandhopefullyitgetswiserandyougetwiser.Andthat′sthedialoguethatJungtalkedaboutbetweentheconsciousandtheunconscious,betweenyourfantasylife,saythelifethat′ssortofunderneathyouasaconsciousbeing,likethelifethat′spartofyourbiologicalplatform,thebiologicalplatformthatsomehowmiraculouslygivesrisetoyourconsciousness.Youhaveadialoguewiththat.We′realwaysindialogue.We′realwaysindialoguewitheverything.Sopursuethat.I′vewatchedmanyhoursofyourvideos,butIdon′tthinkI′veeverheardyoudescribeyourselfontheBigFivemodel.Caretotellushowyourankoneachtrait?Yeah.OK.I′vegotaproblembecauseIknowthetestsandsoit′shardformetotakethemwithoutbeingwell,becauseIknowthetests,right?Soit′shardformetotakethemwithouttheeverpresentthreatofconsciousmanipulation.I′vegonethroughthemwithmyfamily,youknow,toseeifwegetamoreaccuratejudgment.SoIcantellyouontheBigTenscale,whichistheunderstandmyselfpersonalityscale,I′mprettyenthusiastic.Ithinkit′sseventyfifth,80thpercentile,somethinglikethat,ninetyninthpercentileforassertiveness.SoI′mprettyextrovertedbecausethosetwotogethermakeextroversion.Andthenwithneuroticism,that′sahardonebecauseI′vehadthisproblemwithchronicdepressionthatlookslikeit′sautoimmunerelated.AndsoIfeltalotmorenegativeemotionthanthetypicalpersondoes,Iwouldsaybyasubstantialmargin.Withdrawal,well,Idon′tseemtoshyawayfromthings.SoapartfromthefactthatIdofeelanticipatoryanxiety,whichIthinkissecondarytothisdepression,let′ssay,Idon′tseemtoshyawayfromthings.SoIdon′tthinkthattemperamentallyI′mparticularlyhighinwithdrawal.Iammore.It′snotirritable.What′sthenextone?Volatile.I′mhigherinvolatilitythanwithdrawalbyasubstantialmargin.Icanbequiteirritable.Butagain,it′shardtodissociatethatfromthedepression.Soanyways,mylevelsofnegativeemotionarehigherthanIwouldprefer.AgreeablenessI′mprettycompassionate,prettyhighincompassion.Likeseventyfive,80thpercentile.ButI′mrelativelylowinpoliteness.SoIthink,butnot,youknow,notfifthpercentile,somethinglike30thpercentile,40thpercentile,ifIremembercorrectly.Sothatmeansthat,ha,itmeansthatI′mbluntenoughtohurtpeople′sfeelingsnowandthenandthatIreallydon′tlikethatbecausethecompassionthinggetsme.Soconscientiousness,I′mmoderatelyorderly,70th,75thpercentileandlike99thpercentileforindustriousness.Andthenopenness,bothofthemintellectand99thpercentileforintellectandthenit′slike95th,somethinglikethatforopennessorhigher.Sothat′swhereIrank.So,mywifeandIfoundoutearlierintheyearwemaynotbeabletohavechildren.ThenlastmonthIwasdiagnosedwithcancer.Man,howdoIcombatdepression?Wellthefirstthingthatweshouldpointouthere,I′mverysorrytohearaboutallthat,that′salotoftragedyinaveryshortperiodoftimeandI′mnotgoingtogiveyouanycasualadvicebecause,butmaybeIcanmakesomethingsclearer.Thefirstisyou′renotdepressed.You′vehadterriblethingshappentoyou.That′snotthesamething.Idistinguishbetweenthem,ifaclientcomestomeandtheysaythey′refeelingverysadanddownandanxiousandworriedabouteverythingandsoforth,thenIkindofwalkthroughtheirlife.Dotheyhavefriends?Dotheyhaveafamily?Dotheyhaveameaningfuljob?Istheireducationalbackgroundappropriatefortheirlevelofintelligenceandability?Aretheytakingcareofthemselves?Dotheyhavesomethingtolookforwardto?Dotheyusetheirtimeoutsideofworkproductivelyandwisely,etc.?Soyouthinkaboutthoseasthedimensionsofagoodlife.There′smore,ormaybethere′sfewer,butthat′snottoobadforaquickanddirtyfirstpassthrough,let′ssay.Thosearethedimensions,bytheway,thatyouworkon.Ifyoudothefutureauthoringprogramintheself−authoringsuite,you′reaskedtothinkaboutallthosedimensionsandconsiderwhatyourlifemightbelikeifyouoptimizedalongallofthem.Ifallofthosethingsaregoingwellforyouandyoufeelterribleallthetime,thenyou′redepressed.Becausethere′ssomethingwrongwithyouremotionalregulation.Maybeyou′rehavinganexistentialcrisis,that′sapossibility,butlet′sassumewecan′tseeanythingstructurallywrongwithyourlife,butyou′refeelingterrible.ThenIwouldsay,well,youhavedepression,there′ssomethingwrong.Maybeit′sphysiological.Peoplelikethat,inmyexperience,thosearethepeoplewhooftenreallybenefitfromantidepressants.Butthenthere′stheothersortofpersonwhoisintrouble.Theireducationalattainmentisnotwhatitshouldbe.Theydon′thaveajob.Theyhaveanalcoholordrugproblem.Theyhaveafamilythat′sreallynotfunctioningwell,ortheydon′thaveafamily.Theirimmediaterelationship,intimaterelationship,isnonexistentorterrible.Theirfriendsarenonexistentorworthlessanddestructive.Theydon′tgetalongwiththeirrelatives.They′reinpoormentalandphysicalhealth.Yougetthepicture.Andthey′renotfeelinggood.Theirmoodislowandthey′reanxious.That′snotdepression,likeitmightbe,butwhatthatisisaterriblelife.Thosearedifferentthings.Theyneedtobeconceptualizeddifferently.Now,evenifyouhaveaterriblelife,anantidepressantmightbeabletoliftyouupenoughsothatyoucankeepfighting,let′ssay,assumingthatthat′swhatyou′redoing.Butanantidepressantobviouslyisn′tgoingtohelp,isn′tgoingtoremovethefactsofyourterriblelife.Now,you′vegotterriblethingshappeningtoyouatthemoment,andthere′snosimpleanswertothat.Iwouldsayyoucouldtakealookatchapter12inmybook,12RulesforLife.It′scalledPetaCatWhenYouEncounterOneontheStreet,andinpartit′sanautobiographicalchapterabouthowmywifeandIandmyfamily,mysonanddaughter,andmyextendedfamilyaswelldealtwithmydaughter′sextremelyseriousillnesswhileitstillplagueshertosomedegree,althoughnotnearlyasmuchasitdid.Shewasveryseriouslyillwhenshewasateenager.Itwasanongoingcrisis,continualforyears,crisis.Sothequestionis,howdoyoucopewiththat?Theansweris,thefirstanswerisyoushrinkyourtimeframe.You′vehadthese,especiallywithregardstoyourdiagnosis,it′slikeallofasuddenyourfuturehasbeenthrowncompletelyintochaos,andyoudon′tknowhowtodealwiththat,andwhowould?Youdowhatyoucantostabilizeyourmedicaltreatmentandtooptimizeyourqualityoflifewhilethat′shappening.It′saverycomplicatedthingtodo.AndthenIwouldsayyoulivefortheday,fortheweekmaybe.Maybeaweek′stoomucheven,butfortheday.It′slike,getupinthemorning,youthink,IneedtodoeverythingIcantomakethisdayasmeaningfulandrichasIpossiblycan.AndhopefullyIwillhavehadafulldaybythiseveningandthenI′llbeabletosleep.AndthenI′llbeabletogetupinthemorningandsay,I′mgoingtotrytomakethisdayasusefulandmeaningfulandengagingasitcanbe.Andthenmaybewhenyou′rereallysick,youdon′thaveaday,youhavehours,andthenyoudothesamethingforthehours,andthenmaybeyoudothesamethingwiththeminutes.Iwouldalsosay,youknow,you′vebeenthroughalotofshock,andit′sconceivablethatyoumightneedtotalktosomeone.It′salsoconceivablethatanantidepressantcouldhelpyou.Youknow,you′vegotalottodealwith,andyoumightneed,yournervoussystemmightneedsomestabilizationwithallthatstress.Andsothat′ssomethingtoconsider.Antidepressantsarealsoquiteeffectiveaspainmedications,especiallyadrugcalledCymbalta.Sothat′salsoworthknowingbecauseyouneedtoknowabouteffectivepainmedication.It′sveryimportant.Inextremesituationsofpain,opiatesofcoursearethedrugofchoice,butyoucanusedrugslikemethylphenidatethatriddleintheADHDdrug.Youcanusethemasadjunctstopainmedication.Peopleneedtoknowthatbecausethey′rebasicallyamphetamines.Amphetamineshaveanalgesicproperties,buttheyalsomaintainalertness.Andsotheproblemwithopiatesistheycanbesedating,butanopiate−amphetaminecombination.Andthisisforpeoplewhoareinabsolutelyintractablepain,bytheway.Thatcanincreasealertnessandhelpcopewithpain.Andit′sreallyusefultoknowwhatyoumightneedtocopewithpain.SoIwouldsayshrinkyourtimehorizon.Andthen...Oh,thankyou.Okay.ThanksTim.Soshrinkyourtimehorizonandthenconcentrateonthemoment.Whateverthatmomenthappenstobe.Itmightbethenextminute.Idon′tknowwhatelsetodowhenyou′reinanextremesituation.Theotherthing,IguessthefinalthingIwouldsaywithregardstothe...Wemaynotbeabletohavechildren.Well,youneedaplantoaddressthattothebestthatyoucan.Tothebestwaythatyoucan.Andthenyouhavetogiveyourselfsometimetoreconceptualizeyourlifeandyourfuture.AndIwouldsaynewslike,wemaynotbeabletohavechildren.Thatprobablytakesaboutayearorayearandahalftodigest.Sodon′tbetoohardonyourselfifyouhaven′tfigureditoutyet.It′sanymajorlifetransformation,likeareallymajorlifetransformation,Iwouldsay,takesaminimumofayeartoreallyadaptto.Pleasegiveyourperspectiveonwhypolyamoryisbadfortheindividualinsociety.Well,Ithinkthefundamentalreasonis...there′sabunchofreasons.Imean,thefirstissocietyseemedtofunctionbetter.Thatis,lessviolently,let′ssay.Whenthere′sonewomanperman.Ifthere′smanywomenperman,therearen′tmanywomenforeveryman.Thereareahandfulofmen,let′ssayaminorityofmen,aParetodistributionofmenwhohaveadisproportionatenumberofwomen.Andalotofmenwhohavenone.Andthosearen′thappymen,let′sputitthatway.Therearemenwhoareverylikelytogetuptonogoodveryrapidly.Sothere′sthat.ThenIwouldsay,thewomenwho...let′ssayamanhasmanywomen,andlet′ssayhe′sadesirablemanforthatmatter,justforthesakeofargument.Ifhehasavarietyofwomen,thenthosewomendon′thavemuchofhim.Sotheydon′tgettoestablisharealindividualrelationshipwithhim,becauseit′sgoingtobefragmentary.AndIdon′tbelievethatthat′ssatisfyingforpeople.Ithinkthatwhatyouwant,asmuchasyoupossiblycan,istohavepeoplearoundyouwithwhomyoucanweaveyourlifetogetherovertheshortterm,mediumterm,andlongterm.Itaddsdepthtoyourlifeinawaythatalmostnothingelsecan.Andsowhatyoudo...soI′vebeenspeakingmoreaboutpermanentpolyamorousrelationships.Youmightask,wellwhataboutsequentialones,whichisinsomewaysindiscriminate,indiscriminablefromjustcasualsleepingaround.Ithinktheproblemwiththatisthattosleeparoundcasuallyistoimplythatsexiscasual.Toimplythatsexiscasualistoassumeimplicitlythatitcanbedivorcedfromtherestoflife,emotionallife,motivationallife,values,allofthat.Andyoucandivorceit,butyoupayabigpriceforthat.Ithinkthepriceyoupayislikevirtual...Wellthewordpsychopathickeepsleapingtomind.Leakingtomind.Yeah,goodoldFreud.Youhavetoreduceapersontothecasualpleasureofatransientsexualinteractioninordertosleeparoundcasually.AndIthinkthatonceyouestablishthatasahabitwithsex,whichisadeepexperience,ifyou′lldothatwithsex,whichisadeepexperience,andyoulearnhow,thenwhatmakesyouthinkthatwon′ttransfertoeverythingelsethatyoudo?Idon′tseehowitcanfailto.Soyoucouldsay,wellmonogamyisn′taverygoodsolution.It′slike,well,lifeisasexuallytransmitteddiseasewitha10020 million or let’s say I could raise $200 million. Then I have a new problem. The problem is, well, oh, my God, I’ve got all this money now. I have to figure out something to do with it. And that’s actually a really big responsibility. Not it’s not like, you know, it’s a success catastrophe. Let’s say it’s a first world problem. I get all that. But that doesn’t mean that it isn’t real. So I have to do a lot more thinking and planning. And figure out how to disperse my time most effectively before I dare to take on any additional people who would like to help. Now, once my organization is in a place where that sort of help would be useful, then I’ll make a public announcement and I would be more than happy for people to jump on board, let’s say, climb on board, start pushing, devote resources, all of those things. I’d be happy for that to happen then. But I don’t want to do it prematurely because I don’t want people to risk their valuable resources in an endeavor that isn’t yet solid. So, all right, so I’m only going to do, I think, one more question. I am a sober alcoholic slash drug addict. How can I find my way back to belief in a higher power after 10 years in the empty void of atheism? I’m falling apart. Well, I would say your best bet is to actually start devoting some time to it. You know, for me, I became convinced of the validity of a religious viewpoint, I think, as a consequence of study. Read Joseph Campbell. Read Carl Jung. Jung’s hard. Campbell’s a good introduction, though. Merche Eliade as well. I don’t know if you can find your way back to belief, but you might be able to find your way back to meaningful engagement and that might, that’s a better way of thinking about it. You know, the belief thing is a really tricky one. People ask me, do you believe in God? And I think, I really think, how dare you ask that question? I think that’s really what I think. But on a more prosaic level, I usually think, well, I don’t know what you mean by belief. I don’t know what you mean by belief. And I don’t know what you mean by God. These are very, these are very difficult questions and none of that self-evident. Now, I would say, do I believe in the crucifixion? Well, certainly. I mean, people, the crucifixion, how can you not believe in it? If you think symbolically, it’s like human beings are, we’re eternally crucified, right? Our lives are tragic and they end in death and we’re all betrayed. We’re all betrayed. We all experience betrayal. So, you can’t not believe in the crucifixion. Do you believe in the resurrection? Well, people die and are reborn all the time. You know, they go through, this is what you’re after here. I’m a sober drug and alcohol drug addict. Well, you know, you had to let a lot of you die when you stop being an addict and something new be reborn. It’s like, well, it’s the ultimate significance of that. And how is it tied to the notion of bodily resurrection? Well, I don’t know what the ultimate significance is, but it does seem to be the pathway through life. To believe. I would say you start believing not by attempting to convince yourself that the statement, there is a God is true, like a fact is true, but to act out the proposition that you should shoulder your cross and stumble uphill towards the city of God. That’s belief, man. And you can do that right away. Now, you might ask, well, do I have any guarantee that that has transcendent and universal significance? It’s like, well, it’s not a bad model for emulation, so it has universal significance in that regard. We each have to shoulder the tragedy of our existence and stumble upwards despite that. That has universal significance. Does it have significance outside of life and like at the eternal realm? I wouldn’t surprise me if it did. I suppose it depends on what you mean by the eternal realm. It seems to have significance in the eternal realm of consciousness. It seems to have significance in the eternal realm of unconscious fantasy, implicit fantasy, and mythology. How is it connected with the factual world? That’s a hard question because the factual world in some sense divorced itself from that transcendental world during the development of the scientific methodology. So never the twain shall meet. It’s a methodological issue in part. I think you probably have to draw on the same forces that enabled you to sober up and abandon your drug addiction. Something was guiding you forward. Go forward again. Go forward again as if there is a higher power. That’s your manifestation of faith. Go forward again as if being is benevolent and God is good. That’s the hallmark of courage. And that’s a good place to stop. Thank you all for showing up today and I hope you enjoyed this video. I hope you enjoyed it. I’ll see you next time. And for all the support. And that’s enough for March 4th, 2018. Bye bye.