https://youtubetranscript.com/?v=8VxGrwyPAes
For example, let’s say there’s something going on at your workplace and you need to object to it because it’s driving you crazy and you talk it over with your wife so that you’ve got your head screwed on straight You say, oh, I’ve got to say something and you go there and you say something and you know You’re stumbling and awkward and all of that, but but you watch the response And maybe you get what you’re aiming at. Maybe you don’t but you’ve learned a bunch you’ve learned Well, I’m not as coherent as I could be I’m not as good at putting my arguments together My boss is more of a son of a bitch than I that he thought he was this is a worse problem than I knew about It’s like differentiated differentiated. So now the landscape is higher resolution and so are you? Well, so good. So maybe you’re a little bit next better prepared the next time you have to do that And so the issue here to some degree is Don’t lose an opportunity to grapple with something that objects to you, especially when the object Objection is rather small Because that’s something you can you say well I can put up with it It’s like fair enough like you don’t want to make everything into a war I usually use a rule of three if we’re interacting and you do something that I find disruptive Noted it’s like potential dragon gone, and I leave it be and then if you do it again, I think oh, yeah That probably wasn’t merely situational, but I’ll leave it be because that’s still not enough evidence But if you do it a third time Then I’ll say hey, I just noticed this and you’ll say no that didn’t happen and I’ll say yeah Not only did it happen, but it happened here and it happened here, and I’m not making this up So there’s something going on here like I’m not ignoring it and we can get to the bottom of it And then they’ll come up with a bunch of objections about why that isn’t necessary and you push those aside They’ll come up with a few more objections and they’ll push those aside And then usually they’ll get mad or burst into tears and if you push that aside Then you get to have a conversation Right, and then you can solve the problem But man, it’s you got to be a monster because first of all you need six arguments about why their objections aren’t gonna stop you And then you have to not be intimidated by the anger and you have to not be swamped by compassion about the tears and Then you can have a conversation and people don’t do that. They won’t do that and so they don’t solve the problems And so then the problems accrue, right? And if they accrue over 15 years of a relationship then they end up fat, ugly and in divorce court So and that’s you know, that’s not a that’s not a great outcome. It’s a it’s divorce court and cancer are Similar in their in their seriousness not always but But sufficiently often So when that error emerges, it’s a It’s a glimmering now You know, we talked a lot about the hierarchical structure of goals, you know and so here’s something Here’s something to think about so the thing that Announces itself as error has a twofold nature That’s because it’s chaos and order at the same time or it’s because it’s all the archetypal structures at the same time It’s the dragon of chaos. It’s the great mother positive and negative. It’s the great father positive and negative It’s the Individual hero and adversary all of that manifests itself in the moment of error, right? The archetypes come forward. Did you make an error because you’re a bad person? Could be now so so one of the things to think about with regards to that is, you know in the Mesopotamian creation story when When when time out comes flooding back, it’s so interesting that story You think about what she does So she’s the archetype of error, let’s say the error that can take you out that can dissolve you in saltwater tears Well, she’s irritated because Apsu was destroyed so that the structure is gone Carelessness has destroyed the structure up comes time at she’s not happy What does she do? She prepares a phalanx of monstrous monsters. It’s exactly what the story says She produces a whole horde of monsters to come at you and she puts King you at their head And King who is the king of the monsters and later so he’s the ultimate bad guy He’s Satan for all intents and purposes in the Mesopotamian version. It’s out of him that Marduk makes human beings. It’s out of his blood that Marduk makes human beings. That’s a critical issue man. The Mesopotamian said Imagine the worst monster you can possibly imagine the king of all the monsters That’s the blood of human beings Wow So what does that mean? Well, it means that one of the terrible things that lurks Let’s say that you’ve been in a long-term Relationship and it collapses. Let’s say you were You know, he had a tendency towards alcoholism. You weren’t so great with regards to your drug use You know that conscientious and you had like four or five kind of low-rent affairs and you know it Your marriage collapses bang Well, who do you first meet when you fall into chaos? You meet King of the monsters and he’s you it’s like why did my marriage fall apart? What did I do wrong bang bang bang bang? I did all these things wrong. Why? Because that thing inhabits me. What is it? Well, that’s the most horrifying question, right? Well, that’s why So down there in the archetypal space all these things lurk The hero and the adversary you’ve just met the adversary Well, maybe you were a tyrant That’s certainly possible. Maybe everything around you was chaotic. So what do you encounter when things fall apart? You encounter the adversary you encounter the tyrant you encounter the catastrophe of nature and you encounter the dragon of the chaos and they’re all intermingled You have to sort that out. That’s what happens to Ellis when she goes down the rabbit hole, right she meets The Red Queen The Red Queen is always running around Off with her heads off with her heads and she says in my kingdom you have to run as fast as you can just To stay in the same place right down the rabbit hole you meet the archetypes and so Okay, so back to responsibility well one of the things Solzhenitsyn detailed we said well, how does societies go corrupt said it’s easy one little sin at a time You go to work someone’s lording it over you you know that they’re tyrannical You don’t have the wherewithal to stand up. It’s like okay You’re a slave And so if you continue to agree to be a slave you will continue to generate tyrants Right and the only thing that can stop you from doing that I think is the right kind of terror It’s like be careful what you give up Because that’s this logo. Okay, so so all right So that’s this logos the logos is the thing that enables you to mediate between a between order and chaos And maybe you have to have some faith in that it’s like well. What should you do if someone is harassing you? Well you should fight back. Okay. What is that? What’s the most effective way to fight back? Well sometimes it’s physical, but that’s not necessarily for the best Maybe it’s through articulation. Maybe it’s through analysis right you want to be sharp You want to be able to decompose a problem you want to be able to formulate an argument and a counter-response and maybe you want to be so good at that that people don’t mess with you to begin with and then You’re a perfectly articulate counter monster, and you never have to take your sword out That’s that’s the place that you want to be it’s like people should know After three seconds of interacting with you that harassing you will be a seriously bad idea Harassing you will be a seriously bad idea, and then you’ll have a perfectly fine time with them So and that’s part of you know so there’s some utility in meeting the devil in the underworld Right because maybe he’s got something to teach you that’s certainly possible and that and one of the things that you can be taught is that your normative morality which is basically your harmlessness and your naivety masquerading as virtue is completely insufficient to protect you in the world especially against the sorts of things that you’re talking about which are tyrant tyranny Tyrants will push until you push back. It’s in their nature. They don’t have internal controls So they just push and push and push and push and push and push even kids do that like little kids do that all the time They’ll just push you until they hit a wall They’re actually quite happy when they hit a wall because the last thing a child wants is a universe without walls It terrifies them right they want to see well. I’m in a swimming pool. There’s an edge. They don’t want to see oh, oh This isn’t a swimming pool. This is an ocean. I’m in the middle of an ocean. I’m going to drown that’s a terrible thing for children, and that’s why they need discipline and structure because It’s consistency and predictability and routine and all the things that are extraordinarily helpful to you