https://youtubetranscript.com/?v=GKd_DWhs4O4
In the past I’ve done some work with big brother, big sister and whatever. That being said, the most common story I tend to hear from conflicted youth is that they’re raised in a single family home, usually with a mom, dad is there on the picture, an alcoholic, whatever, whatever, whatever. So we have this child who is trying to seek ways to make himself healthy and empower himself in ways that a healthy father should have done, so between the formative years of like one to four. So I think I’m going with this. Let’s say for someone who was born without a good father figure, where would they go out in the world, or what spheres of influence would they try to expose themselves to, to like gain access to that fountain of health and knowledge that a good father figure should have provided them to in the first place? Okay, well, certainly to some degree a good mother can provide that, right? To some degree. Although it’s hard for one person to be everything. Right. You know, and I think one of the conundrums that face women, and this is a tough one, and this is why I think women are higher in trade agreeableness and higher in trade negative emotion, is that, you know, the primary problem that a woman has with an infant is why not throw it out a window? Because it’s very annoying, right? I mean, it’s there all the time. It’s constant demand. It’s absolutely constant demand. Tremendous dependency. And so a woman has to be tilted towards mercy. That’s how it looks to me. And especially during, it’s so important during the, especially the first year when children are so unbelievably vulnerable. And so I think it’s very difficult for women to be merciful like that and to make the shift to encouraging disciplinarian. I think that’s a very difficult thing for people to do simultaneously. Although, you know, people, people, I’m not saying that women are always only merciful and men are always only encouraging disciplinarians, but things do sort themselves out to some degree like that. And I think also the biochemical transformations that accompany pregnancy and childbirth and lactation also tilt a mother towards that as well. She has to really love that little thing, right? It’s it’s number one, no matter what it demands. And then telling it what to do and making sure it’s behaving properly. That’s that’s a whole different issue. Now, but the kids who lack fathers, I mean, first of all, they can find that to some degree in their friends. And that’s often what fatherless boys do in particular. They go into gangs and they generate the missing men masculinity in the gang. Well, that’s not so good because like, what the hell do they know? Well, they don’t know anything, right? They’re just stupid kids and they’re like 15 years old and their testosterone is pumping and they’re trying to get the hell away from their mother, which is what they’re supposed to do. And and they’re not in the right position to exercise any authority over themselves. So that’s that’s not good. They can find it in education. They can find it in books. They can find it in movies. They can find it in sports heroes and so forth because the image of the father is fragmented and distributed among the community. But it’s very, very difficult to not have a father. And, you know, one of the things that we’re doing in our society, which I think is I think it’s absolutely appalling, is that we’re making the case that all families are equal. It’s like, sorry. No, wrong. And there’s no empirical data supporting that proposition, by the way. It’s much better for kids to have two parents. Now, who those parents are, that’s a whole different issue. OK, and if I could just add one more thing. How would you answer that question to, let’s say, a daughter who was raised out of father? Because she would obviously have different ways of finding those fragments of her missing father than like a boy would instead. Because obviously they’re raised differently. At least they should have been. Well, I think it’s the same issue, you know. I mean, I think that another danger that emerges, and this is Freud’s, of course, famous observation, is that, you know, if there’s mum and child or father and child, that relationship can get a little closer than it should. And then the lines get blurry and mixed. And I’m not saying that that happens to everyone, obviously. But it’s still a danger that’s inherent in the situation. They’re thrust together too tightly without sufficient resources. And so the responsibility has to be distributed more. And like, I really do think that it’s the sign of the degeneration of a society when single parenthood becomes anything approximating the norm. It’s not a good idea. And part of the reason I believe that, and I think this has to do with the overwhelming selfishness of modern life, is that marriage isn’t for the people who are married. It’s for the children. Obviously. And like, if you can’t handle that, grow the hell up. Seriously. Seriously. Once you have kids, it is not about you. Period. Now that doesn’t mean it isn’t about you at all. But that just seems so self-evident to me. I can’t believe that anybody would even question it. Oh, it’s been questioned. Oh, yes. Well, I’m certainly aware of that. Yes, it’s questioned. It’s almost illegal to question it now. You know, illegal to make the set of propositions that I’m making. So that’s the best I can do. Yeah, that’s excellent. Thank you. Thank you.