https://youtubetranscript.com/?v=QHWB3zQzBfE
And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but consider us not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how will you say to thy brother? Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye and behold a beam is in thine own eye you might be wondering what a beam is and a mote is a dust speck and a beam is a very large piece of lumber and so the issue is Not so much the blindness of others even though there’s as much blindness among others as there is and as there is for you, but the issue here the advice here the description here is You should be concerned about what’s interfering with your own vision first And you should leave other people the hell alone in relationship to that and so if your mode of being in the world is If you would just act better things would improve for me Or if you identify the evil in the catastrophe is something that’s outside That someone else needs to fix or that someone’s response someone else is responsible for then Then you’re not going to fix that and You’re going to remain blind to the things that you’re doing and not doing that make things not go well And so it’s just better to think all right I’m probably blind in many many ways and maybe there are some ways that I could rectify that Because it’s highly probable that you’re blind in all sorts of ways. I mean it’s in fact. It’s virtually certain and so It’s just more useful to think How is it that I’m wrong in this situation? I’ll tell you something that I learned to do when I was arguing with my wife which happened quite frequently because When you actually communicate with people you find out that there’s many things that you don’t agree on and that’s because you’re actually different creatures And so if you’re actually going to have a truthful conversation Then you’re going to find out that You don’t see things the same way and then you can either pretend that that’s not the case and gloss over it and then End up in a 30 year Silent war or you can or you can have the damn fight when you need to have it and see if you can straighten it out So now and then we’d get in a situation where we were at loggerheads we couldn’t move and You know it would spiral up into hate speech Let’s say because yeah everyone laughs because they know they manifest plenty of hate speech towards those they love So one of the things we learned to do was when we hit an impasse was to separate and to go Our own ways and to go sit and think okay look we’re at this Unpleasant situation we can’t figure out how to move forward I’d always think of course it’s her fault obviously it’s her fault least 95 percent, but Maybe there was something I did that contributed like five percent to it and so I would sit and think and Asked myself a question which was is there anything I did in the last six months that increased the probability that This impasse would manifest itself and I’ll tell you you have no idea how fast your mind will generate an answer to a Question like that because there’s undoubtedly some idiotic thing that you did that you know that you remember that Increased the probability that you’re gonna have your hands around the throat of the person that you love and Then you can go tell them that and then you can have a conversation Especially if they do the same thing say look you know Here’s how I’m an idiot In this situation Now the person says well yeah Here’s how I’m an idiot and then you’re two idiots and then maybe you can have a conversation so Thou hypocrite first cast out the beam of thine out of thine own eye and then Shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote of thy brother’s eye. That’s hey hard to argue with that Ask and it shall be given you seek and ye shall find knock and it shall be opened unto you for everyone that asketh Receive it and it shall be opened unto you One that asketh receiveth and he that seeketh findeth and to him that knocketh it shall be opened That’s not pretty optimistic again, but but again I think it’s a description of the structure of existential reality and and by by which I mean When I’m in my clinical practice, and I observe and this is also the case with my students is let’s say People’s lives aren’t what they would like them to be and so then you ask why? Well forget about tragedy and catastrophe because that’s self-evident And we’re not going to discuss that although the degree to which you bring about your own tragedy is always indeterminate But I would never say that every terrible thing that is visited on a person is something they deserved I think that that’s a very dangerous Presupposition especially because everyone gets sick and everyone dies But one of the main reasons that people don’t get what they want is because they don’t actually figure out what it is and The probability that you’re going to get what would be good for you Let’s say which would even be better than what you want right because you know you might be what wrong about what you want easily But maybe you could get what would really be good for you Well, why don’t you well because you don’t try You don’t think okay Here’s what I would like if I could have it and I don’t mean I don’t mean in a way that you manipulate the world to force it to deliver you Goods for status or something like that that isn’t what I mean. I mean something like Imagine that you were taking care of yourself like you were someone you actually cared for and then you thought okay I’m caring for this person. I would like things to go my way And then you thought okay, I’m caring for this person I would like things to go as well for them as possible What would their life have to be like in order for that to be the case? Well people don’t do that. They don’t sit down and think all right. You know let’s let’s figure it out. You’ve got a life It’s hard obviously it’s like three years from now. You can have what you need You got to be careful about it. You can’t have everything you can have what would be good for you But you have to figure out what it is and then you have to aim at it Well my experience with people has been is if they figure out what it is that would be good for them And then they aim at it then they get it and it’s strange because they don’t miss it’s a strange thing it’s not quite that simple because You know you may formulate an idea about what would be good for you And then you take ten steps towards that and you find out that your formulation was a bit off And so you have to reformulate your goal You know you’re kind of going like this as you move towards the goal But a huge part of the reason that people fail is because they don’t ever Set up the criteria for success and so since success is a very narrow line and very unlikely the probability that you’re going to stumble on It randomly is zero and so there’s a proposition here and the proposition is if you actually want something You can have it now the question then it would be well what do you mean by actually want and Answer is that you reorient your life in every possible way To make the probability that that will occur as certain as possible, and that’s a sacrificial idea right it’s like you don’t get everything obviously you Obviously, but maybe you can have what you need and maybe all you have to do to get it is ask but asking isn’t a Whim or today’s wish it’s like you have to be deadly serious about it you have to think okay like I’m taking stock of Myself and if I was going to live properly in the world, and I was going to set myself up Such that being would justify itself in my estimation, and I don’t mean as a harsh judge Exactly, what is it that I would aim at? well one of the things I found is that an Intest of this theory let’s say You could try this This is a form of prayer knocking sit on your bed one day and ask yourself What’s what remarkably stupid things am I doing on a regular basis to absolutely screw up my life and? If you actually ask that question, but you have to want to know the answer right because that’s actually what asking the question means It doesn’t mean just mouthing the words it means you have to decide that you want to know You’ll figure that’s out so fast. It’ll make your hair curl You you it’s as if young thought about this he saw it you know he thought that people had two poles of consciousness And one was the individual consciousness that we each identify with and the other was something he called the self and the self is the You might think about it as the divine within that’s close enough approximation It’s the universal part of your consciousness. It’s your conscience. That’s another way of thinking about it Whatever your conscience is but it’s something that you can consult. It’s like the Socratic daemon Socrates said that the thing that made him different than everyone else in Greece was that he consulted his daemon his genius He asked himself how it was that he should conduct himself in the world and then he did that whatever it was He didn’t try to force a solution you know he didn’t try to force a solution selfishly he asked I’m going to manifest myself in the best possible manner in the world. I would like to do that. What would that be? Well, you’re perfectly capable of thinking God only knows how you’re perfectly capable of of immense feats of imagination and and dream and fantasy It’s God only knows how you do all of that what would happen if you consulted yourself about the best possible outcome for you You might get an answer. Well. That’s what this proposition is