https://youtubetranscript.com/?v=w9AE3kmhQ_k
What I’m hoping to do today is explain a couple of concepts and the way we conceive of them. It might be different from what you’re used to, what you’ve been told, or maybe you’ve never thought about it. Having versus being. So typically this is talked of by John Breveke, for example, as having mode versus being mode. And I think those are important. Our framework is sort of threefold. We don’t believe in binaries. So there’s having, being, and becoming. I’m not going to get into becoming today because reasons. I like to keep these sort of ironically into binaries on purpose. So you need to be able to tell the difference between when you’re in, say, having mode and when you’re in being mode. And the best way to think about it is having mode is goal oriented, right? It’s a goal oriented way of thinking. It’s a goal oriented mode. It’s a destination. It’s based on a destination, a final position that’s in the future. Right? So your aspect to the future is that you’re going to get somewhere that’s going to satisfy something, right? And that puts you in control of the situation. Being mode, on the other hand, is a process oriented mode. It’s the journey. It assumes more movement in the future. And that lack of a final position is important, right? It highlights a difference. And these are important concepts because I’m going to build on them in the future. So the having mode is possessive, right? It’s about taking some form of control over something outside of yourself. And that’s in contrast to the being mode, which is having control over yourself in an uncertain or moving world, right? And understanding that contrast helps you to be able to interact with people and yourself and the world better. Are they having mode? Are they being mode? Neither is good or bad by itself. We need both modes or I’d say all three, becoming mode as well, or we’re changing our fundamental nature or something, or upgrading something about ourselves. But the important part is where the control is and what you’re oriented towards. You’re oriented towards having something, right? Getting some outcome, achieving some outcome. That tends to lead to perfectionism. Perfect is the enemy of the better, right? Or are you oriented towards change and movement and flow, maybe exploration, right? Again, both have their uses. And in having mode, the element of control is externalized. It’s projected outside of yourself, like psychological projection. Whereas in being mode, the mode of control is internal, right? It’s more like stoic ethic, the way we think of stoicism. And it’s keeping control over that which you have the most control of, right? You don’t control external things as well as you control internal things. Your internal self is naturally generative, right? Your cells are regenerating. Your thoughts just kind of seem to generate, right? Whereas external things are part of the material realm and they decay, you also decay. True, right? External things seem to generate, but actually they just kind of emerge, unless they’re persons or animals, right? So things outside you tend towards having mode because they’re things you want control over or want some control over. Things inside you tend towards being mode because they’re things you have the most control over, right? So you need less control of them, right? Sometimes you have less control of them because they sort of take you over like your passions, your desires. It’s not an easy thing. I mean, it really does harken back to the Eastern idea of yin and yang. The thing that people miss about yin and yang is there’s a dot in the middle of each of those two dots, two dots. They’re not just interpenetrating. They also swap. That’s what the dots are. They’re swaps. So. Understanding that these two things are different and what the differences are helps you to see yourself better. Am I trying to possess something? Am I trying to be in love or to have sex? That’s for Vicky’s probably best example. Am I am I trying to attain happiness through a car? Right. Or am I trying to have status by knowing something? Or having an understanding of something that no one else has? Right. That’s having mode. Even though it’s not material, it’s having mode. Or am I trying to learn something in humility so that I can grow bigger than I am now? Right. You can hear the being as becoming. Want to grow bigger than I am now. I want to learn something new so that I am remade better. Right. And usually that involves what Jordan Peterson would call burning off the dead wood. Right. Your ideas die. So you don’t have to. These are elements of being that lead to becoming. A lot of elements of being that you just need to do. Like you just need to eat, just need to breathe, you just need to exercise at least nominally. These are things you need to do as part of being. Being can actually be a neutral position. Becoming is the advancing position and having is the stale position. Right. So the way you stay stable in the world. Is by being. The way you decay in the world is by having. And the way you advance in the world is by becoming. That’s really important to know. Three modes. Not two, three. There are no binaries. Right. They’re not opposed because you need both of them. Things that you need, we’ll say, in measure are not in opposition. They’re just in measure. There’s a big difference between in measure and in opposition. In opposition implies exclusion, exclusive or things like that. That’s not most things in the world. Maybe not anything in the world. You probably need a little bit of everything to get along in the world. The world’s a big complex place. The wisdom traditions, we call them religions, have been talking about this for thousands of years. Whether east or west, they say almost identical things. You need having. You have to have food. You have to acquire it. It’s an external thing you need to gain control over. There’s no question about it. You need to have oxygen to live. You cannot deprive yourself of that for very long. You have to have a place of rest. You need that. And maybe not just a physical place of rest. It’s important to think of. Maybe not just a mental or emotional place of rest. There might be more to the world than just a physical, mental and emotional or psychological. You need those things. You have to possess them. You have to possess them. But also to get them, you need to be the thing that gets them. You need to be in a process of obtaining them. You see how these two modes are deeply connected. You can’t really do pure having mode or pure being mode. You can kind of switch between them. You can go being mode, being mode, being mode, being mode, having mode. And then of course, the having lets you be more. So the two are connected. They’re poles at the very least. And again, advancing is becoming. That’s when you’re changing your mode, your being, so that your being is better than it was. It can do things it couldn’t do before. Not just physically, not just say mentally or emotionally. Right, because there might be more to the world than that. There might be sort of the material realm. There might be sort of the in-between material realm and the ethereal realm. Right, the realm of forms, but formless forms or eidos. If you want to go with Plato’s better word for it. That’s really important to know. So you can get stuck in having mode, for sure. People do that. Get stuck in being mode, for sure. People do that. Having mode might be consumerism. Consumerism is having mode, absolutely. If somebody says consumerism, think having mode. If somebody says knowledge or gnosis or I want to know things, that’s a having mode aspect. Right, it’s not to say that you can’t know things. The way you know things is through life. The way you know things is through learning. That’s a being mode aspect. Right, you can be things. You can be a better person. Right, you can be the type of person who thinks about the past, the present and the future. Right, you can be a person on a journey towards somewhere uncertain. Right, you can be somebody growing older because you’re going to anyway. Right, be the person who is going to go have enough food to bring back to the family. Yes, yes, you should be that person. Right, and you can become better than you are now. You can. It’s not that hard. I have videos on harnessing superpowers. Right, you can look at that one here if you haven’t seen it already. See all my videos. They’re all great. Honest, trust me. I wouldn’t make them if they weren’t great. I promise. So understanding the difference, recognizing the difference in others at least, and then in yourself hopefully. And when you’re doing one or the other, how you’re doing one or the other, why that’s important because it is important. That will help you. It will allow you to orient better in the world and navigate the world better. Because this is all about navigating the patterns of the world, many of which you have no choice about. No one has any choice about. There are some patterns that just emerge like religious patterns. I have a video on that. They just emerge. They happen. You can deny them, but you’ll fall into them over and over again. Grief, we all go through grief. I wouldn’t call that a perennial problem as John Vervege does. I call it perennial pattern. You need a proper orientation. Are you in having mode? Having mode and grief is holding on to someone who’s dead. You’re trying to have the memory of that person come alive. Right? That’s not a good thing. Or are you in being mode? You’re being the person who is deprived of a loved one or something cared for. Right? If you’ve ever lost a pet, same thing. I grieved for pets. It’s not good. I’ve grieved for people. It’s not good. But it’s something we have to go through. If you go through it, if you be through it successfully with the proper amount of internal control, you can become the kind of person who handles grief better. And then Jordan Peterson talks about this. Be the person that is a shoulder for people to cry on at a funeral. How do you do that? You become that kind of a person. You can see all three modes, hopefully exemplified right there. And I just wanted to cover that. I thought it was important. I hope that I’m having an impact, a positive impact on your ability to orient in the world and navigate the deep patterns that we’re all struck dealing with and dealing with and understanding and being through. And, you know, I deeply appreciate your being here for this and becoming a better person, hopefully, through my videos, which some of you have reported, which I’m just very humbled about and grateful for. That’s fantastic. I’m amazed that people are getting so much out of this, which was my goal. So I’m just blown away that I’m able to achieve such a lofty ambition. And I want to thank you for the thing that I value the most, which is your time and attention.