https://youtubetranscript.com/?v=6Ph3L7aJ8CE
If you don’t really let your partner know who you are, they can’t hurt you as deeply as they might. Because you haven’t revealed the secret. If you let them know who you are, what you really need and want, then they can deny that to you. And so you have to have a lot of courage to put that out on the table. And the same with yourself. But if you don’t do it, well, then you don’t let the other person get to know you. They can’t deliver what you need and want because they don’t know what it is. And the probability that they’re going to figure that out by running into your sharp edges repeatedly is low. If the only way I can learn to understand you is by being punished every time I get it wrong, it’s pretty highly probable that I’ll just go find someone else to interact with.