https://youtubetranscript.com/?v=gyJdISkCLuQ
Your identity is not just how you feel about yourself at this moment And you can’t impose that on other people because they don’t know how to deal with that Even if they wanted to, they wouldn’t know the rules of the game You have to negotiate your identity with other people And so then you have to think of identity as something that’s negotiated with other people And so if you have an implicit theory of identity, like the one that seems to be increasingly dominating the cultural landscape Which is identity is something that’s only subjectively determined and can also change from moment to moment Then you’re misleading people as they develop because they come up with a very unsophisticated notion of what identity is And that’s not good because that’s core And part of your identity is your value to other people That’s a huge part of it and that’s not subjective Other people make that decision