https://youtubetranscript.com/?v=hERwcluw-M8
One of the reasons that pornography is so rampant, even among people who are in relatively permanent relationships, is that it’s a bad approximation to a good art, right? It’s that people’s sexual longing is deep and plastic and it takes an awful lot of courage to make what it demands consciously apprehensible and communicable and to share that desire with the person that you love. That’s the true revelation of nakedness. That’s another way of thinking about it because what else would that be? But if you dare to do that, you might find out that you can encourage an active partner in play and that that will provide you with what you need and want within the confines of a relationship that also simultaneously provides you with everything else you need and want. And that’s a pretty good deal. And so how do you occupy an ethical position and keep the erotic tension in your relationship? Well, one answer to that is, well, that’s where you get married. Like, that’s the answer to that, right? Because the marital vow, which is a vow of permanence and a vow of mutual reciprocity, and a vow to stay together regardless of the storms that are coming, means that you have enough of a commitment to ethically justify the mutual revelation of your nakedness. That’s a good way of thinking about it. And that’s a good deal, too. And it can be an adventurous deal if you can admit to yourself what you want and need. You know, there’s a gospel line which is a strange thing to quote in this context. It’s, knock and the door will open, ask and you will receive, seek and you will find. And I would say that is just as true on the sexual front within a marriage as it is on any other front in the more classic, let’s say, on the more classical ethical horizon. Properly integrated sexual life is part of the highest ethical endeavor and there’s nothing wrong, and in fact very much, that is right in allowing yourself to realize what you need and want and determining how to share that with a partner who is also pursuing exactly the same thing. So it’s worth a shot.