https://youtubetranscript.com/?v=_ZH7yfGP2Is
So one of the things you do in your book is you detail out a lot of sexual fetishes, tracing them back a couple of hundred years. So imagine that you’re a hyper-masculine male. Imagine you’re a little narcissistic in your masculinity. And let’s say there’s a part of your psyche that regards that as unbalanced. And so what happens is you start to have fantasies about the value of the contra-sexual temperamental virtues. And those would be the feminine ones. But given that you’re not very conceptually sophisticated, maybe the way that counterbalancing tendency manifests itself in you is in fantasies of being female. And that fantasies are so damn deep that they actually involve even the sexual impulse. So Carl Jung, who I think thought more deeply about this than anyone else, believed that as we move through life, and we expanded our personalities, that we would expand them beyond the confines of a rather stereotypical gender identity and incorporate the virtues of the sex that we weren’t. So that would mean for women that they would become more emotionally stable and also more disagreeable as they got older. And for men, it would mean that they became more emotionally vulnerable and more compassionate as they got older. At least they would extend their capability into those domains. And that was a necessary part of expansion and maturity. And then if that’s forestalled by narcissism, let’s say, or even by inability, then the proclivity to develop those contra-sexual tendencies would start to manifest itself in the kinds of fantasies that you described as characteristic of the autogynephilic transsexuals. And so then if you think that narcissism is part of what’s driving that, right? I’m pushing too hard in the direction that I’m going, and so these fantasies manifest in a compensatory way, that you get a perfect storm. And it’s the narcissists who are doing this that insist upon subjective identity and who also, by the way, are perfectly willing to sacrifice children to their own purposes. Absolutely. And two things that you notice when you look at these people are, one, what they’re seeing when they look in the mirror is not what you’re seeing. They’re seeing a fantasy, they’re seeing a fantastic version of themselves, but you, who are not in love with this idea, this idea of the feminine version of this man, you’re seeing something a lot less flattering. And that’s very hurtful to them. That’s experienced, I think, as a psychic insult. Because it’s like being flipped out of the fantasy. Like, if you’re in this beautiful fantasy and then someone laughs, or someone calls you he, and then that’s narcissistic rage is what you see as the response to that. That’s right. That’s right. And it’s narcissistic rage at, in many ways, the same level that you’d see an afforded two-year-old. Yes. Yes. And it feels like that when you’re at the receiving end, I have to say. Yeah. Well, that’s for sure. I’ve done both. I’ve felt both. Well, right. And when you see these activists on this front melt down and have a tantrum, especially if you have a clinical eye or you’ve been a parent, you think, oh my God, that’s exactly what two-year-olds do. And that’s a hell of an early developmental level to be fixated at. You know? Yeah. That’s really bad. That’s really bad. That shows a real disjunction in psychological development. So it’s no wonder this is felt as seriously affecting by the people who are affected. Yes. Because it’s so deep. And it involves core issues of identity. And I think it must be felt very differently by a man who’s looking at it, like you, and a woman like me, because it’s not just that it’s offensive that this man is doing what looks to me like a poor and very parodic imitation of a woman. It’s also that I am expected to play along in a way that it really casts me as a supporting actress in my own life. And if I step out of role, the rage that this brings down is absolutely extraordinary. Like, you’re acceptable as a woman as long as you’re going along with this. And then if you mention any tiny little bit of need that a woman might have, like just one vulnerability that a woman needs that really requires that all males are excluded from somewhere, all males, even the males who identify as women, it’s as if you’ve done the worst thing that it’s possible to do. It’s like saying to the two-year-old, go to bed or brush your teeth or know you can’t have another biscuit. And it is. It’s a meltdown. I presume it does feel dreadful to that person, but it’s ugly to see it in an adult. Getting a good night’s sleep is one of the most important things you can do for your health. That’s why Helix Sleep provides tailored mattresses based on your unique sleep preferences. The Helix lineup includes 14 mattresses, each designed for specific sleep positions and preferences. Side sleeper models with memory foam layers offer optimal pressure relief. Stomach and back sleeper models feature a more responsive foam to cradle and support your body. Plus, Helix mattresses offer enhanced cooling features to keep you from overheating at night. Don’t compromise on comfort. Take the Helix Sleep Quiz and find your perfect mattress in under two minutes. Helix mattress ships straight to your door free of charge. Try it for 100 nights risk-free. Go to helixsleep.com slash Jordan, take the Helix Sleep Quiz and get up to 200 off all mattress orders and two free pillows. What is the most dangerous thing about having a temper tantrum? Well, it’s terrible if you watch a two-year-old having a temper tantrum carefully. And most people won’t because they’ll turn away because it’s too disturbing. If you watch a two-year-old having a temper tantrum, one of the things you realize is that the overcoming of their developing ego by those internal systems of rage and distress is a catastrophic defeat for the beginning unity of the individual. And so then what you do if you’re a parent with any clue is that you set up the environment so that tantrums are brought to a halt and eradicated in some sense as a form of acceptable behavior as rapidly as possible. And you don’t do that by suppressing the child’s capacity for anger and distress. You do that by integrating the capacity for distress and anger into a higher order personality. And so, and this, you said you talked about this parody element. So let’s go into that because I’ve noticed this too. A lot of the behavior that I see on the part of people who are aping women, let’s say, looks to me like a parody. And I think part of the reason they get so mad at women who don’t play along is because they also have this fantasy of women, femininity, as merely as passive, receptive, all-encompassing. You know, it’s kind of the counterpart to the submission element that goes along with dominance and submission play that you often see more hyper masculine men attracted to. And so I think that when women stand up for themselves, they also violate the image of docile and receptive femininity that plays such a major role in the fantasy life of the people who are engaged in, say, cross-dressing. So I think that’s absolutely right. And I would add something else to that, which is that I think that both sexes do have a somewhat maybe idealized version of what it is to be a member of the opposite sex. And, you know, a man may have a fantasy version of what it is. Just an ordinary man, an ordinary heterosexual man who is happily married and has female friends, he may also just have some quite fantastical ideas about what it would be like to be a woman, like that, you know, you can lie back and let the man do the work or that it must be lovely to be so fragrant all the time or something. You have these very superficial ideas of what it is to be a member of the opposite sex. And that’s true, I have to say, in pornography as well. Like women as imagined by men in pornography are nothing like real women, just like the men who are written by women in erotica are nothing like real men. And you see that too in these, what look to me like parodies, but I don’t think they’re intended to be parodies. They’re not meant to be insulting. The man is describing what he sees. I wouldn’t be so sure about that. I wouldn’t be so sure about that. Well, because we also don’t know to what degree the vitriol that’s directed towards women, that’s a consequence of this narcissism, is also a reflection of a genuine hatred. And this is why we should never forget just exactly what kind of radical and revolutionary genius Sigmund Freud really was. Because Freud put his finger on the key pathology of our time, even our time more than his, because he regarded the Oedipal complex as the source of all pathology. And the Oedipal complex was essentially the catastrophic consequences of the non-judgmental, non-discriminating, hyper-compassionate, all-accepting maternal spirit. And so Freud’s idea was something, and you can think about this biologically too, Freud’s idea was something like this. So human beings are peculiar among animals, let’s say. And there are two or three developmental reasons for this. First, we’re born fetal. So because there’s an arms race between the child’s head circumference and the carrying capacity of the female pelvis for purposes of birth, if the pelvis was any wider and the hole in the middle any wider, then females could… Waddle everywhere. Yeah. That’s right, exactly. And so the way we’ve ironed that out over evolution is that babies are born far too young. They’re born at nine months instead of two years, and their heads are compressible. And that’s why the mortality rate for human babies is so high. It’s a real narrow passage into life, let’s say. And so what that means is that humans are hyper-dependent, particularly for the first two years. But then because we also have this amazing plastic socially constructible brain, at least to some degree, we have this immense period of dependence. Now, the risk in that is that because we’re so dependent, an excess of compassion is necessary, especially in the first six months. Because imagine the right response to a human infant under six months of age is you’re 100% correct about anything that distresses you 100% of the time. And your needs have to take priority over absolutely everything else. And mothers have to be wired to provide that. Yes. Now the problem is, so this is why the psychoanalysts, they said, the good mother necessarily fails. And so the mother has this terrible conundrum. She has to be willing to sacrifice herself to this infant fully. But then as the infant matures, she has to sacrifice her own compassion and pull back and start to become harsh and more encouraging and demanding simultaneously. Now, if she has a man along with her, that’s easier because it’s easier for him to play that role. And that’s a cardinal role that the masculine spirit plays. But Freud’s point was, well, this protracted period of dependence exposes us to the terrible risk that we never emerge out of infancy. And the terrible devouring mother is a symbol of the person for whom compassion has become a hyper dominant and devouring force. And that is precisely the political problem of our time. It’s that this reflexive compassion that is now deemed, it’s deemed morally necessary that it must govern everything. If you don’t feel absolutely 100% sorry for people as if they’re infants, then you’re a predator. And two things that I was thinking when you said that. One was that what I’m doing when I refuse to accept a man who says he’s a woman as a woman, is I’m like the mother who’s refusing to give the infant what he wants, which is really a wicked person. That’s right. A predator. Yeah. And so the rage is there. I’m stepping out of role for a woman. And I think the other one is that the most enraging thing for anybody is to desperately want to be something that they can never be or to desperately want something that they can never have. And so a man who’s got himself into this headspace where he can be a woman in his own mind, somebody who says no, and that no can be in one millionth of the world, it can just be in one place, it could just be in rape crisis centers, say, that’s not good enough. That’s not good enough. That is taking away the dream and being a very bad woman, stepping out of role for a woman. Well, especially for this hyper idealized, feminine, compassionate woman, right? Yes. All encompassing and all loving and all nurturing. And you see this again in two year olds. You know, I’m just watching this right now with my grandson. The most the most magic word, the magic word for two year olds is not please. The magic word for two year olds is no. Yes. And I would say 20 percent of the utterances of a two year old is no. And that’s because no is the word you use to give yourself some space in some sense. And so two year olds don’t like it when you say no to them. That makes them mad and they push the boundaries as they should because they need to find where the boundaries are. That’s what you should do when you’re two. And if if you haven’t had those boundaries organized for you in a systematic way that enables you to expand your personality so that you can find alternative cooperative routes to adaptation and you just face this arbitrary no or you don’t face it at all, then you’re going to end up being a person for whom no is a well, it has the same effect on you as it does on a recalcitrant two year old. It demolishes your entire emotional being the same way that no demolishes the world of a two year old. You