https://youtubetranscript.com/?v=uIx5FXuA1Xg
Dr. Peterson in your lectures you speak a lot about toughening people up as someone who went through college got a humanities degree bought completely into postmodern ideology and Until hearing your lectures couldn’t point pinpoint that feeling of aimlessness hopelessness and the aversion to responsibility Where do you recommend they start? I’ve particularly seen this inability to be tough to negotiate and to bring out my inner tyrant who is really just afraid Oh, you said it does bring out your inner tyrant who is really just afraid it’s not going to get what it wants How do you begin to work with that? Well, that that’s a good question and the next question is how can men become more dangerous? Well, I can answer both of those at the same time I would say for people who are too agreeable the first thing that you need to know what the first thing you need to figure out is what is it that you want and Because if you don’t want anything and if you don’t know what you want and you don’t know what your strategy is How are you ever going to be able to conjure up the courage to stand for what you believe in? You don’t believe in anything and you don’t have any arguments at hand And I mean that’s part of the reason that we developed the future authoring program Was so that people could not only figure out what they wanted so to identify the goals in life Which is identifying those goals as an integrating force But also to articulate the arguments that make them capable of defending yourself, you know like if I’m going to challenge you, let’s say you come to me and you say I want a raise Maybe it’s taking you a lot of courage to conjure to to to be able to step into the office of your boss and say well I want a raise and he says well, no, we don’t have any extra money at the time and you say well Okay, and then you leave well, that’s not a good negotiation If you want something the first thing you have to do is set up options for yourself So if you really want to negotiate for a raise, let’s say because it will use this as an example The first thing you have to do is decide whether or not you deserve to have a raise Because you can’t just ask for one you have to make a case for it And so how do you know if you’re in a position to ask for a raise? Well part of it is that you have options so I would say put your CV or your resume in order and Make it tight and then look around to see what other other Employment options you have that you would in fact take and see what your market value is and Because you have to have options. You have to be able to say no in a negotiation and then decide what how much of a raise you want and Why it would be in the person’s best interest to offer you the raise make a case for it And one one of the reasons is look I’ve got this other job opportunity that I’m pursuing and I like working here But I’m gonna take this other opportunity because it pays me more and you can’t just say that if it’s not the case if it’s not True because that’s an absolutely foolish negotiating strategy. You have to have options you have to negotiate from a position of strength and So you have to know what you want and you have to have options and then you have to develop strategies for communicating what it is that you’re that you’re asking for and you you have to be forthright about that and But you have to think through the reasons because otherwise you won’t have enough courage to tolerate the conflict that it might entail to to withstand the negotiation and I think if you’re an agreeable type one way of Fortifying yourself is to understand how much misery and conflict you may be storing up for yourself in the future if you Refuse or if you refuse to engage in reasonable negotiation on your own behalf in the present It’s like so one of the things ways I get myself to do to engage in conflict that I might not have wanted to engage in And despite what you might think because of what’s happened to me over the next six months I’m not a person who particularly enjoys conflict I’m a person who knows that unless you engage in a certain amount of conflict to stand up for what you want that your life Turns into hell and maybe the lives of people around you turns into hell too And I’d rather have the damn conflict which I find quite stressful I’d rather have the conflict and allow everything to degenerate around me and so okay, so and Then you say you bring out your inner tyrant who is really just afraid it’s not going to get what it wants well You get what you negotiate for and if you put yourself in a position of power and you give yourself options Then you will get what you most more frequently than not you’ll get what it is that you want but but not because you want it but because you have a Variety of options available to you that would enable you to move forward more effectively in life