https://youtubetranscript.com/?v=fYwVwlRXmbU
If you have a memory that’s older than about 18 months and it haunts you, and when it comes up involuntarily, it produces a stress reaction. What that means is that as far as your nervous system is concerned, and so as far as your body’s concerned, that danger hasn’t gone away. And what’s happening is an unconscious alarm system that’s looking for pitfalls and holes is warning you that the map that you’re using is incomplete in a manner that might enable you to fall into the same hole. One of the things that people can do that’s very useful is if you have memories like that that plague you is to bring them to mind voluntarily instead of waiting for them to come after you involuntarily and then to think through what has changed and what might not have, but also to come up with a plan so that if a similar circumstance arose, you’d be in a better position in one way or another to deal with it. There’s no other way of getting the memory to go away.