https://youtubetranscript.com/?v=S3jJcvi4k2c
Because why in the world would you take six-year-old kids and get them to sit without moving for five hours? Unless you want them to grow up fat and stupid, why in the world would you train them to do that? Well, it’s easier. That’s one thing. You know, and when they’re sitting there, there’s nothing disruptive about the rough-and-tumble play, and that can be quite, you know, play can be quite disruptive. So anyways, most of these kids are reasonably well socialized by the time they’re the age of four, using one mechanism or another. They learn how to regulate their aggression, and they learn how to engage in fictional play structures with other kids. They learn how to cooperate and compete. And the advantage to having a well socialized, disagreeable person is that they really don’t let much get in their way. So if you can get a kid who’s disagreeable socialized, that person can be quite the creature, you know, because they’re very forward-moving in their nature and very difficult to stop. But if you don’t get them successfully domesticated, tamed, roughly speaking, by the time they’re four, their peers reject them. And that’s a big problem, because your job as a parent is to make your child socially desirable by the age of four. Like, you’ve got to, you want to burn that into your brain, because people don’t know that. That’s your job. And here’s why. It’s easy if you think about it carefully. So you imagine you’ve got a three-year-old child, so sort of halfway through that initial period of socialization, and you take that child out in public. Okay, what do you want for the child? Who cares about you? What do you want for the child? You want the child to be able to interact with other children and adults, so that the children are welcoming and smile and want to play with him or her, and so the adults are happy to see the child and treat him or her properly. And if your child’s a horrible little monster, because you’re afraid of disciplining them, or you don’t know how to do that properly, then what they’re going to do is, they’re going to experience nothing but rejection from other children, and false smiles from other parents and adults. And that’s, so then you’re throwing the child out there into a world where every single face that they see is either hostile or lying. And that’s not something that’s going to be particularly conducive to the mental health or the well-being of your child. If your child can learn a couple simple rules of behavior, like don’t interrupt adults when they’re talking too much, and pay attention, and try not to hit the other kids over the head with the truck any more than is absolutely necessary, then, and you know, and share and play properly, then when they meet other kids, the kids are going to try out a few little play routines on them, and that’s going to go well, and then they’re going to go off and socialize each other for the rest of their lives. Because that’s what happens, is that from four years old onwards, the primary socialization with children takes place among other children. And so if the kids don’t get in on that early, they don’t move into that developmental spiral upwards, and they’re left behind. And you can imagine how terrible that is, because a four-year-old will not play with another four-year-old who’s two. But a five-year-old certainly will not play with a five-year-old who’s two. Right? Because the gap is just starting to get unbelievably large. And so the kids start out behind, and then the peers leave them behind, and then those kids are alienated, and outside the peer group for the rest of their life. Those are the ones that grow up to be long-term anti-social. Right? They’re already aggressive. It doesn’t dip down. Now what happens to normal boys, roughly speaking? Imagine the aggressive two-year-old types, they get socialized, so their level of aggression goes down, and then they hit puberty, and testosterone kicks in, and bang! Levels of aggression go back up. And so that’s why males are criminals between the ages roughly of 16 and about 25. So, and it matches the creativity curve, by the way. It’s so cool. If you look at the spike of creativity among men, 16 to 25, and it starts to go down, criminality matches that absolutely perfectly. So that’s quite cool. So, and part of, so, the testosterone levels raise the average level of aggression among men. It’s more dominance than aggression, actually, and testosterone is by no means all bad. And then it starts to decrease at about age 25 or 26, which is usually when men stop staying up late at night, stop drinking as much, develop a full-time career, and take on the burdens and responsibilities and opportunities that are associated with a long-term partner and family. And so, well, so that’s the development of what I would call predatory aggression, because I also think that the agreeableness distribution is probably something like predatory aggression versus maternal sympathy. It’s something like that. So if you look at other mammals that are predators, because we’re predators as well as prey animals, if you look at other animals like bears, the male bear has absolutely nothing to do with the raising of the infants. In fact, the female bears will keep the male the hell away, because he’s likely to kill the infants, and maybe even to eat them. So there’s no maternality at all in solitary male mammalian predators. Now, it depends on how social they are, but roughly speaking, that’s the situation. Whereas with human beings, males are quite maternal. So, but anyways, I think the extreme of agreeableness on the low end, so disagreeableness, is predation. And the extreme on the upper end is maternal caring. And so, and those two things compete, right? Obviously, it’s very difficult to be both of those at the same time. And so men, of course, in the wild, so to speak, are very, very few women hunt in modern societies or in archaic societies. And you can also understand why that is, because hunting actually requires hurting something, killing it. And it’s usually something that’s not very impressed about being hurt or killed, and it will emit a lot of distress while it’s happening. And so for anybody who’s compassionate, who’s got compassion as one of the fundamental elements of their temperament, that’s something they’re just not going to be able to tolerate at all. So, you know, in the evolutionary landscape, because that’s really what we’re talking about, there’s tension behind the development of different modes of being in the world. And if you’re good at one thing, that sometimes means that you can’t be good at the other thing at the same time.