https://youtubetranscript.com/?v=0iVlVVZe-YY
Tinder is a transformative technology and it’s radically underestimated in terms of its potency because it produces hyper successful predatory males and Reduces rejection it eliminates rejection because I mean you can be totally rejected in which case you’re a failure on tinder But in normal pre mating interaction, let’s say there’s a high probability of rejection Especially on the part of males and that tech. Well, there’s actually research on this. Yes Tinder yes So there’s there’s research basically showing this so on tinder Women are they they like, you know swipe, right? They like the profiles of only 4% of the men that they see on the app whereas for for men when they see female profiles they swipe right or like more than 60 percent that’s six zero 60% of the profiles they see so that’s really concentrating on because that’s a great example of hypergamy Right. So women mate across and up success hierarchies and Men mate across and down Right so and women like men who are about four years older cross-culturally They like men who manifest signs of success as well as being handsome and personable in all of that and the reason for that as far as I can tell is that they’re looking to Equalize the economic disparity that exists because women take a harder hit from sex and pregnancy than men So they’re looking to equalize that and no wonder they’re looking for someone who’s competent This is for long-term mating who’s competent and generous Right. You want both of those so competence would be intelligence general cognitive ability and the markers that go along with that They want conscientiousness or openness as well as other desirable personality traits And they want generosity honesty all of those but so they’re looking for someone who can provide well It’s not because they’re greedy precisely It’s because well they’re going to put themselves in a more vulnerable position if they have a child and we know this because Even affluent women who have a child by themselves or who get divorced tend to drop down the socio-economic hierarchy a fair bit which is of course why alimony payments and all of that are necessary So this hypergamy means women are much more selective in their mating than men are and that’s true cross-culturally And it’s not surprising because they pay a bigger price for sex It’s more dangerous for women because they can get pregnant and it might be more dangerous emotionally as well I believe that would be a reflection of their higher levels of agreeableness and higher levels of negative Emotionality so women do put themselves at risk more and that might be why there’s such a Intense debate about what constitutes content Intense debate about what constitutes content on campuses despite these beliefs in polyamory and all of these things But so anyways on tinder as you said women select four percent of the men Yes, so that means I would imagine that four percent is very high up on what you’re calling into this the success hierarchy I have a friend a good looking guy Uh, he was very active on tinder for a while and he accumulated more than 20 000 matches on the app 20 000 20 000 and he was so successful that tinder Uh pinpointed him early on and gave him all kinds of free perks and bonuses and lifted his radius restrictions gave him the The tinder gold app or whatever version of it basically trying to entice him to continue to use the app Yeah, yeah, they they wanted to entice him. This is so amazing. They never want you to leave these are unbelievably Pernicious and vicious broad-scale social experiments that are far more potent than anything like government policy You know, I mean he’s in he’s in gangus khan territory With 20 000. I don’t know. I mean, it’s really it’s really 20 000. Yeah. Well my suspicions are he tried And I know he’ll get a kick out of that that records for for like Athletes for example and movie stars there’s some of the men have reportedly slept with thousands of women. Yes, will chamberlain and There’s others who are in the same category, but there are people there are men who have women throwing themselves at them all the time Lining up for them and and i’ve read biographies of people who had that sort of thing happen as well But that’s not the typical male experience. I know the typical male experience is all rejection Exactly, right? They might get a couple matches a week Right, right. So while so you see what’s happening is that? Tinder is one of the forces that’s transforming monogamy into polygamy and the problem with polygamy is that it it follows a preto distribution like the distribution of wealth is that Some tiny minority of men get all the sexual opportunity and all the rest get virtually none And that is a recipe for for social instability. I mean that that sort of deregulation Of of romantic relationships, you know Whereas in the past it was expected for you to have one partner and over time settle down Whereas now it’s a total free for all I mean there are aspects to this that a lot of people don’t think about I mean I talk to young people So I have younger friends who who I talk to who are sort of very active on on the apps and in sort of the dating Scene and they’ll tell me things like it’s it’s even easier to cheat so in the past if you wanted to be unfaithful to your partner it was risky because You know essentially like you you have the same social circle you have the same friends everyone knew everyone else But now with the apps you can match with someone who is completely outside of your social reality Outside of your partner social reality, you can have a very discreet rendezvous. No one will ever know about this Ghosting has become more more common. I don’t know if you about ghosting, but it’s basically where you’re in a relationship with someone And after you have sex, you know once or however many times then you just vanish you never see that person again Delete, you know delete them from your phone block them on social media. You never have to see them again And there’s no social cost of this. That’s a real psychopathic conquest strategy. Yes, right Yes, the psychopaths they tend to form relationships that are very predatory and then disappear Because that way their reputations stay intact as long as they can continue to disappear But i’m interested in what you said before about whether this is actually sort of cultivating psychopathy in young people and young men where you know in the in the past, you know Typically a psychopath would would do that on their own. But now with the apps and the technology removing all of the friction from You know breaking up with someone or having to communicate with someone that you no longer want to see them I think a lot of people who who ghost others they’re not even thinking in those terms They’re not thinking I want to maliciously hurt this person or I don’t care about this person It’s just it’s like it’s easy, you know You press a few buttons on your smartphone and you can move on to the next conquest Um, and I think a lot of people wouldn’t act that way. Otherwise Well, the question would be what happens to you after you do that four or five times, you know Let’s say you’re not particularly psychopathic to begin with it’s like you you you learn what you practice And I would say look if if you’re using people continually as a means to an end And I think sex is probably the most effective way of doing that Then you’re establishing a pattern of interaction between you and other people at perhaps the deepest possible level And so if you do that repeatedly First of all, you’re not you’re certainly not engaging in anything that might be regarded as a as a meaningful or deep relationship Quite the contrary you regard that as excess baggage. That’s an impediment to your next conquest so to speak So how would that not? I mean it be now you said there was research on tinder has there been research on the relationship between the dark triad and these hyper-successful men Well, i’ve seen research on dark triad in tinder use and you know people who are high on dark triad do tend to be more successful accumulate more partners uh, specifically whether you know, this is related to gender and whether men are more successful or or more likely to To hurt others using these apps. I haven’t seen anything on that I have interestingly seen um, I think this was from pew uh where they broke down the data by education level And they asked people questions like have you ever been harassed on this dating app? Have you ever met someone on a dating app who inflicted physical harm on you? basically the wide variety of negative experiences through using dating apps and they found that people who are not college graduates Were far more likely the women were far more likely to report negative experiences on the dating apps compared to College educated women and to me this is also indicative of this, you know, this sort of social class divide um another manifestation of the luxury belief of sexual promiscuity where You know you introduce these dating apps You have no idea what’s going to happen or how this is going to warp society and how people are going to interact in romantic relationships And it’s disproportionately harming Uh lower educated lower income women who are like you’re saying they’re probably more likely to meet psychopaths. They’re probably Perhaps less adept in some ways at screening for certain kinds of guys. The other thing is Because well, yeah, yes Well, they’re a lot more they’re a lot easier to prey upon I mean their straights are a lot more desperate and they’ve knocked themselves out of the single girl Dating market and lowered their market value so to speak I hate to speak of it in terms like that but it’s clearly the case because To initiate a relationship with a woman who has a child already is to initiate a relationship that has a lot higher up front cost The complexity of negotiating the relationship with the child the additional responsibility that has to be taken on instantly And none of that’s the least bit trivial so so so that means and we know that in general if you Do a triangular imagine triangular representation of a social hierarchy on any valued dimension the people who are at the lowest level are those who are most susceptible to any sort of Destructive tendency that comes whistling through they don’t have as much social support. They’re a lot closer to abject poverty They don’t have the the broad social network or the opportunities Um, so everything affects them disproportionately including epidemic illnesses and it’s the case throughout the kingdom of life that low status Conferrs vulnerability. Oh, that’s why people go for higher status at least in part. Yeah, so that the tinder I mean I don’t know how widespread tinder use is I don’t know that much about tinder but when I first found out about it, I thought this is a technology that while they certainly named it properly because Tinder starts fires and it’s a fire starter and not just sexually