https://youtubetranscript.com/?v=lC28siQp5WU
One of the things I did notice consistently in my clinical practice was that if I really, really listened to the person, they were unbelievably interesting. And so I would say, if you’re bored in a conversation, you’re the boring person. Because you’re not listening. Because if you were listening, that person is a strange creature, man. And if they told you what they’re actually up to, first of all it would be a shock to them, that’s for sure. But if they were telling you, you would not be bored. And so there’s a high probability that you’re sitting there thinking what you already know about this person, what you’re assuming by the way they’re dressed, or the way they comport themselves, or their class, or their social status, or whatever the hell it is, stereotypes that you’re using as a replacement for the genuine dialogue. And then you’re also sitting there thinking about what you’re going to say next when they’re talking, so that you can impress them, and so on and so forth. And you’re not doing the kind of listening that Roger suggested at all. Because you’re treating the other person as an end to an a priori defined instrumental means. And that’s a big mistake.